Dear 24-Year-Old Self, Be vulnerable first

In part two of this five-part series, Tiffany talks through the second piece of advice she would give her younger self. Listen as she shares a moment where she first realized that being vulnerable is the first step to harnessing the wisdom and help of others.

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“We have no idea the number of people that want to help us. But the reason they don't is because we either don't know how to ask for or articulate what it is that we need.” —Tiffany

In part two of this five-part series, Tiffany talks through the second piece of advice she would give her younger self. Listen as she shares a moment where she first realized that being vulnerable is the first step to harnessing the wisdom and help of others.

What advice would you give your younger self? Text Tiffany at 317-350-8921.

Dear 24-year-old self, be vulnerable first

So we've got the question. What would you tell your younger self to work on each day? Like if you could go back and it reminded me of this presentation that I put together a while ago, I'm called dear 24 year old self. So I thought maybe let's just take a couple of weeks and take the five lessons that I cover in that presentation.

It's not going to be presentation and just share with you what those five highlights were. That if I were to pull back time 15 years and go back and say to your 24 year old self, these would be my lessons. I'm your host. Tiffany Sauder. And this is Scared Confident. Let's talk about dear 24 year old self advice.

Point number two, if I were to pull back time and give myself some advice and this one is be vulnerable first. And in many ways, the scared, confident podcast is probably like the ultimate manifestation of this belief that I have, but that we have no idea the number of people that want to help us. But the reason they don't is most often, because we either don't know how to actually ask for articulate what it is that we need.

Or the root of is that we're too prideful. We're not willing to be like humble enough to be able to actually say like, this is what I'm struggling with. This is what's hurting. This is where I'm stuck. This is where I don't know what to do. And so we masquerade around acting like we have all the answers and we know what to do.

And that really stunts our learning. I remember so specifically I was in a meeting. I was probably 26, 27 years old. So, so, so early in my journey and I was sitting across from this businessman that I just had a massive amount of respect for. He's just a giant in my head. And I was like nervous and excited to be meeting with him and to learn from him.

And I was talking to him about element three and he says, so how was business? And first of all, it was just like shocked that he asked me because I was a service provider. Like most people just sort of want to get you out of their office as fast as possible. And. Stopped and asked me like, no, really like, how are things going?

And I'm such an idiot. I was like, things are great, which was like the furthest thing possible from the truth. And because I wasn't armed with a, an understanding of what my actual issues were and B the courage and the moment to say, like, this is what I'm struggling with, or I don't know how to get to this person, or I'm looking for a great partner for this thing.

I walked out of that room. Without being able to actually like harness the power of him, like of leveraging him of using that moment. To help me. And I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. And it was such an exercise in me, remembering, I've got to know, first of all, what are the things I'm actually solving for and then how to articulate those crisply so that when somebody asks me what's happening or how they can help, I am at the ready and able to actually say like, this is what I'm looking for.

How do you help me? The other thing I've found is in the reason it's be vulnerable first is that. When one person takes a small step forward in letting the other one into a problem, or like, oh, my word yesterday was such a tough day or tomorrow I'm going to have to make this tough decision. Or we were just fired by a client or whatever the thing is when we take a half step forward and being vulnerable people meet you there.

And they're also going to share their things and they're also going to lean in and share their experiences. And that's where like real relational intimacy actually starts to happen when we allow ourselves to stay at the surface level, or just talk about the positive things that are going on. And. Place in space.

We never really get to a place where we have connection. And so I clearly exercise vulnerability intentionally. I think it's a muscle that when we practice it, we get more comfortable with it. We get more articulate with being able to say what it is that we need and want. And our ability to be vulnerable, I think is an absolute precursor to the speed at which we're going to learn.

And if we aren't learning every single day, we're never going to be able to get to the places and have the impact that we dream of. So I think a completely starts with a willingness and humility to be able to be vulnerable first.

So what else is on your mind? Text me 3, 1 7. 3 5 0 8 9 2 1 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1. And be sure to follow along on your favorite podcast app. Thanks for listening today.


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