Values Q&A: How did you define the values for your life?

For the next four Q&A episodes, Tiffany digs into the questions she’s received on values. Starting first with how she defines them for her life. As you listen to her answer, think about your own.

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"What I have found in my life...as it relates to values is that it's really about interrogating: ‘Where are the moments that you feel like you showed up in the way that you're really proud of and ... reflecting on those moments, where you showed up in a way that you're really disappointed in yourself? And to me that is how I've picked up and gathered my values in life.” Tiffany

For the next four Q&A episodes, Tiffany digs into the questions she’s received on values. Starting first with how she defines them for her life. As you listen to her answer, think about your own.

Share your thoughts with Tiffany via text at (317) 350-8921.

Values Q&A: How did you define the values for your life?


How did you define the values for your life? I'm your host, Tiffany Sauder. And this is Scared Confident. Values. I've gotten lots of questions about values. So we're going to take the next four weeks and answer questions about values starting with, how do I define the values for my life? For me, it's more about decoding my behavior.

I know some people are like real vision. Boardy. Write this all out and really are very explicit about like posting them in their place in space. And I think that's awesome. It's just not always the way that I work, what I have found in my life. And I did write them out, but as it relates to values is it's really about interrogating:

Where are the moments that you feel like you showed up? In the way that you're really proud of and where the reflecting on those moments, where you showed up in a way that you're really disappointed in yourself. Like that's not who I want to be. And that's, to me how I've kind of like picked up and gathered my values in life.

So maybe that feels retroactive and not proactive. I don't know. But again, that's just sort of how I feel like, yeah, that's who I want to be. I'm going to become more towards how I showed up in that story. And being really honest with myself when I really feel like I bailed and I had a chance to sort of show up in a big and confident way, and maybe I took the easy road.

So that's how I've kind of collected and gathered values in my own life. So the first one is be vulnerable. I talk about this a lot. This podcast is obviously a sort of exercise in vulnerability. But what I have found is that whenever I had the courage to say the thing I really wanted to say, or to ask the question, I really wanted to ask, like not the socially acceptable one that people like was maybe going to get a round of applause.

But the one that my heart was really asking. 100% of the time it was received in like a tenfold manner. Like I got so much more out of that interaction and I started to collect that reality through my life and commit to like, I'm just going to be vulnerable. It's fine if people make fun of me, but I'm going to learn faster.

If I can just say the thing I'm really asking about. So be vulnerable is number one. The second one is pursue family. I'm sure there will be other places to explore this, but this word pursue - pursuit of family like this proactive I'm choosing. This is not always my natural makeup. That feels a little bit embarrassing to say because I'm a mom and a wife and all these things, but I can, I'm very independent.

I'm very. Uh, I don't know. I don't mind just doing my thing and getting all my stuff done. And sometimes family gets in the way of all of that. Again, just honesty. And so pursuing family, like having the value that like, am I doing that in my week? Am I making fun things for my kids? Am I doing things that are special for my husband?

Am I calling my mom even when it's not convenient? Am I pursuing a relationship with family? Because a lot of wonderful people on this planet, but you're given one family. Number three is demand excellence. This one probably comes naturally to me, but if I do something like I wouldn't be the best at it, probably somewhat feeds my ego and need to sort of be in center stage.

But I really want to be great if I'm going to even try to do something. And so really demanding excellence of myself and surrounding myself with people where that's a natural part of their DNA. Number four is to stay scared. The people I found I most admire in life just continued to grow. Like they're growing just as much at 75 as they were when they were 25.

And I just think that's super rad. And to me, I know I'm growing and I know I'm uncomfortable when I'm just scared when I'm like, Oh, I would have no idea what I'm doing. And I think it's wonderful. And so I look back on a year or a long stretch of time and realize like, I really didn't do anything to get outside of my comfort zone.

That's not good enough for me. I want to be able to. Keep trying, exploring new things. Number five is serve others. Our house almost always has somebody in it. And I love it. And so making sure that I'm doing that also with excellence and paying attention and scanning that, you know, my little community and world for people who need me and like, I love bringing people into our house.

I love cooking food. I love just sort of being in a community with other people. And so that sometimes as people actually in need, but sometimes it's just being aware of friends or people who are close to you that just need space to be comfortable and to be loved and to sort of. You know, eat good food. I dunno.

So serving others. And the last one is to love God. And this is really for me about serving something bigger than myself. As I've gotten older, you start to realize like, there is a bigger purpose to all of this. Like there is something, someone orchestrating what's happening. Some of it we have control over and some of it.

Is happening sort of in spite of us. And so being sure that I'm always acknowledging that like my talents and my opportunities and the things that I sort of have ownership of. Like aren't mine, it's about serving something bigger than myself at the end of the day. So. Those are my six values, whether you are one of those people who wrote them out, you know, a long time ago, and you continue to gauge the success of how you're living your days and weeks and how, how you're showing up to those, or whether you're like me sort of a collector of them as you start to understand.

I showed up like that. And I want to do that again. I hope this has helped you learn a little bit about how I think about values and helped you explore it, your own journey.

This is so much more fun for me when I get to also hear how you guys are learning from this journey. So avid love it. If you would text me your values and also whether or not you are a collector like I am, or if you're more proactive in the way that you think about it. (317) 350-8921. I'd love to hear your values.


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