Q&A: What does self-care look like for you?
I'm your host, Tiffany Sauder, and this is Scared Confident.
When it comes to self-care, I start with things super small and simple because when it is hard at the beginning, I just break down and forget to use it. So here's an example. I have this thing in my head. I'm sure it's true, but I believe it. It might not be true that if I take care of my skin, I will look younger longer.
So I'm gonna take my makeup off every night, which I do 365 days a year. I'm going to use my skincare system just the way that they prescribed. I'm not going to try to get cute with it. I don't know enough about it to research it. It's not my personality. And so I just use the thing that they tell me to. My girlfriend sells beauty counter and I said, what should I use?
And she said, use these four things. I'm like four is too many. What are the three most important? I used the three most important, and that's all I did for six months, cause it's what it took for me for it just to be like a blind habit. Then, I told her I'm ready to add something else. And she was like, okay, add this vitamin C just in the morning between steps two and three.
I'm like, okay, great. I can do that. And I did that for four more months until it was just a blind habit. And it's just all I do. I don't rethink it. I don't shop for skincare again. I just do the thing and I don't try to make it hard because it solved for me. Now I'm not in this constant state of solving.
I find when people can't figure out self care, It's because they don't commit to something and they're constantly in solving mode. Instead of saying, this is fixed. This works for me. This is just what I'm going to do. Which means I don't go to skincare parties and that kind of stuff, because I'm not into resolving that.
I already have a solution for that. And that works really well for me. Another thing on self-care that is maybe an adjacent topic wearing clothes that fit you. My grandma used to always say dress to forget yourself. And we all know when we're like, so glammed up that the only thing you're thinking about when you walk into a room is yourself.
And there's also times when you're like too frumpy or you're underdressed, or you're like, ah, I wish I would have showered today. And you're thinking about yourself all the time, because you just don't feel good. And this idea of finding that spot on the line, where you're dressed to forget yourself, meaning you feel good, you feel confident in who you are, but you're not thinking about yourself all day long.
That's the goal. You don't need to have a hundred things. I have found like six tops and two pairs of pants. And I can go for a quarter. You don't need that much stuff, but buy things that fit your body the way it looks right now and get dressed. Like I wear yoga pants until the afternoon.
Very rarely, I like to get up and like dress for the day like something's going to happen. I'm not often caught with, Oh my hair doesn't look good. I don't want to go there. I hope I don't run into somebody like dress for a moment to happen. I think that's, I give myself self-care is also getting dressed, taking a shower, feeling good, feeling like put together for the day so that you can go wherever the day takes you.
Some of the things I was just talking about are more like day-to-day self care. Big picture self-care, I would say I've had to really learn to pay attention to when my heart is telling me that I need to take a timeout and just dislike, decompress and breathe that self-care for me, usually it looks like a change of environment.
Like getting on an airplane, leaving home, getting away from responsibility. My husband and I went away for our anniversary and I was walking through the middle of the city that we were at without my phone, without a wallet, like literally nothing. And I was like, I don't even have to be responsible for myself right now.
It was such a big, deep breath for me. And so I know sometimes I get a little responsibility fatigue because I'm answering a lot of questions from a lot of people. And sometimes I just need to go to a place where I'm not responsibility for anybody or anything, not even really myself and Jr is such a great release for me in that way.
I can just, he knows what road to go down, like what time reservations are. And I need some time to just totally decompress that way. The other thing I've learned. Is there something very releasing to me about not having to know what time it is in the morning. I've got to know what time it is. Like when the girls need to be on the bus, like who needs to be at school?
What time do you need to be sure that you're packing? You're getting your backpack on what time does my first call start? When does that went over? When is my next one? What time does lunch? I've got 30 minutes here and I'm constantly aware of time and being able to be, again, it doesn't have to be a long time where I can just disconnect for a half hour, you know, like from the needing to know what time it is is also a huge mental relief for me. And I feel my body be able to get to a different level of relaxation when I can experience that kind of resting physical exertion. Also, even though, while it makes your body tired, my body being able to be tired in my mind, renewing.
Is a big piece of it. And I also just love new experiences, new cities, new trails, new restaurants, new food that makes me from a sensory perspective, feel alive. And oftentimes, when I feel tired, it's because my creative energy is depleted and I'm kind of in this just like hamster wheel mode. And I need something to interrupt that cycle.
And so getting into something new can help. I don't know, my brain just connect in new ways and me feel refreshed in a different way. So I think for Darren, I both, we aren't necessarily, you know, go sit on a beach for a week and rejuvenate that way. It's usually using our minds, using our bodies, getting a new experience that helps us feel really refreshed.
So the little bit on self-care I think you got to pay attention to your heart. I think sometimes we get tired, like physically tired. That might mean that we didn't need to disconnect, but it might also just mean something in your system is broken. You're not getting enough sleep. You're long social media distracts you for too long.
I don't know what the thing is, but there's something that's not sustainable in the way that you've put together your days. And so that might need to be fixed, and that's why you're feeling exhaustion. But I do think sometimes you just need to go reset a little bit and you can come back with new perspective, new energy.
New everything for the people and things around you, sometimes that's definitely necessary.
So what else is on your mind? Text me (317) 350-8921 (317) 350-8921. And be sure to follow along on your favorite podcast app. Thanks for listening today.