Rise & Thrive: Remarkably Unremarkable with Stephanie Ewing

As a “recovering perfectionist,” Stephanie often finds herself thinking about what she “should” have done or said in a given situation. After years of worrying about what people think, she learned to let go and be okay with not being liked by everyone. Listen as she shares her journey toward self-assurance and peace of mind.

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“I'm scared to admit that I don't always have it all together. I'm scared of being viewed as a failure. And, quite honestly, I'm scared you won't like me.” Stephanie Ewing

As a “recovering perfectionist,” Stephanie often finds herself thinking about what she “should” have done or said in a given situation. After years of worrying about what people think, she learned to let go and be okay with not being liked by everyone. Listen as she shares her journey toward self-assurance and peace of mind.

If you’d like the chance to take part in your own fear interview like Tiffany did for Season 1 of Scared Confident, text the word FEAR to 317-350-8921.

Rise & Thrive: Remarkably Unremarkable with Stephanie Ewing

Tiffany: This is Rise & Thrive. A mini series from Scared Confident where we highlight the stories of seven remarkable women as they learn to stand tall and their story. In this episode, you'll hear from Stephanie Ewing. She's Vice President of Commercial Banking for JP Morgan.

Stephanie: I've been a perfectionist pretty much my entire life.

But I'm working on becoming a recovering perfectionist, because if I were going to please you with my story tonight, this would be a completely different talk. I stand here in front of you, scared to tears of what you're going to think of me. I'm scared to admit that I don't always have it all together.

I'm scared of being viewed as a failure. And quite honestly, I'm scared you won't like me. I tell my kids every day that I want them to be respectful and kind to everyone. I truly just wish everyone could just get along. It's this mindset that over the years has given me a chameleon personality where I can get along with and talk to just about anyone always being respectful and kind.

Anyone here willing to admit that they should themselves in their head all the time. I am you. I see you. It is real. I play scenarios over and over and over in my head, thinking about how I didn't live up to someone's expectations and worried about what they're thinking about me right now. You know, I've lived a really great life.

I wasn't one of the popular ones in school, but I wasn't one of the nerds either. I was nice to anyone and it would be a friend with anyone that would talk to me. I was a dancer and a band geek who loved to go to taco bell after football games. On Friday night, I got good grades and I didn't really have to try too hard at it either.

I got into Purdue for my undergrad, where I changed my major four times, because really knows what you want to be when you grow up at that time. I knew I wanted to be in business, but to get into the business school at Purdue, you had to take calculus and I was scared of calculus. However, I realized that if I wanted to do anything within my passions, I needed to go to business school.

So I sucked it up and I suffered through the calculus. I did all the things that our society has molded you to think is a successful college career. I probably partied a little too much, took a few too many naps, maybe one or two through a class or two, but I also worked, paid my own bills. Learn to cook for myself, learn how to book my own, travel back, to see my family at home.

I even followed the cliche of falling in love with my husband in college. And then senior year of college came and everyone expected me to find a job. I was lucky to have four years of college paid for by my parents, but I knew that the second that I graduated, I was off the payroll and I needed to take care of myself.

People always ask me how I got into banking and my answer will always be the same. It was the shortest line at the job fair

Sure. My dad's a banker. His dad was a banker and his dad was a banker too thinking couldn't be all that bad. Right? Get a little management experience, a little finance. I can go anywhere after that. Well, here I am. 16 years later, still in banking. And I really do love it. Those past 16 years have included a lot of hard work, new challenges, promotions, sales, trips, and awards all while building a family.

Travis and I got married after I graduated from Purdue, or we graduated. He did too good for him.

And we are the proud parents of two amazing kiddos, Amelia and grace. And as if working full time and parenting, wasn't hard enough, Travis and I decided to dive into entrepreneurship. Last year, we opened yoga studio in January of 2020. You know where this is going. Let me just tell you knew that opening a yoga studio in January of 2020 is legit the worst timing in the history of the world to open a yoga studio.

The past year plus has been hard on a lot of us, myself included, and man did it do a doozy on me emotionally. I went from literally living the American dream to feeling like a failure and lost. I had lost my confidence that I had once had myself and I felt scared and alone all the while worried about what everyone else was thinking of.

I have always been a proponent of personal and professional development, but when the opportunity for Ryzen five came across my desk, I knew this was something different and experience that I had never had before and something that I needed to invest in myself in, especially at this point in my life, I was craving the connection to people, the right people that could help me get through this really tough time in my life.

The past few months, I have learned so much about myself, the way that I think the way that I interact with others and where I spend my energy, these women, and this experience have allowed me to be unapologetically me while I continue the journey of finding my confidence again. So . Today I still stand here scared to tears of what you're going to think of me, but I'm learning to be okay.

With the fact that I might not be forever. But as long as I have the love and respect of my husband and my kids, I must be doing something right.

Tiffany: No matter where you are in your journey, community is so key for where we're all going. And I'm on a mission to reach 100,000 people. With this message of being scared, confident.

So I would love it. If you would share your favorite episode with your friend, just pull up your text, send them a link. It'll take like two seconds. The show isn't about me. It's about helping other people on their journey of living full and complete lives. When we stepped totally and into an understanding of our fear, we can step fully into our stories as a thank you.

I'm giving one fear interview too. Put your name in the ring by texting me the word fear to 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1. The word fear, F E a R to 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1. And over the next couple of weeks, we will pick one person to go through the fear interview. Thanks for listening.

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