Rise & Thrive: Waiting for the Page to Load with Kristi Kaiser
Tiffany: This is Rise & Thrive, a mini series from Scared Confident, where we highlight the stories of seven remarkable women as they learn to stand tall and their story. In this episode, you'll hear from Kristi Kaiser, Marketing Leader, formerly the Marketing Operations Senior Manager at Jimmy John’s.
Kristi: Imagine it's the start of a brand new day. You know, the very beginning where you're refreshed, maybe you have a cup of coffee and yeah. And you're ready to start everything on your to-do list. You hop on your computer, you pull up all the tabs, all the websites to get started right away. Then all of a sudden you see a spinning wheel. Your webpage just froze.
You know, that spinny wheel that just keeps spinning until the page fully loads. And then all of a sudden, you're like wondering what to do. You stare at the wheel, everything in your to-do list, pops into your head, then you kind of get a panic in your gut, and then you kind of feel a little angry and sad or scared.
You want to scream. Or throw the computer against the wall as if everything depends on getting your to-do list, done this exact same moment. Sometimes life feels like waiting on the spinning wheel for the page to fully load. After all you've got so much, do you want to accomplish today?
Even envisioned it, you see it, but you're not quite there. So what are you doing while you're waiting on the spinning wheel? Are you sitting there staring at it and have all a worry thinking of all the things that you could be doing right now? Maybe tapping around, clicking, trying to minimize and exit out of all the screens when you're probably making it worse instead of better.
Or do you step away focus on something else and then let the pages load properly with the right amount of time. I've been waiting on some of the pages in my life to live. I was comfortable with my life and the way it was after all, if it's not broke, why fix it? But I knew I wanted more. I knew I needed more than just the great job that I had that had probably been my top priority for way too long.
I wanted to settle down. I wanted to have a family. I wanted to have a sense of community and build roots. I was tired of waiting of all these things to happen in my life for all these pages to load.
So that brings me to the significant other page. It's loading. Don't get me wrong. I'm heading the right path right now, but man dating is hard just saying that word out loud makes me want to cringe and dating. As you get older, as hard dating in a small town is hard. I had a good seven year stint of dating and I feel like I saw it all. I downloaded all the websites, all the apps I listened to all the podcasts. I read all the books. I was so frustrated with the dating process that I just wanted to quit. And I did on and off. I told myself, I'm done. This is fine. This is how I'm living my life. But then I kind of equated dating with sales. It's all in the numbers. Right? So if I just go on one more day, then I'll get that much closer to this page in my life to fully load.
Then there's the kids page. It's loading. Can't even get to that page really until the hubby page loads fully. But man, I do love kids. I have the best nieces and nephews anyone could ever ask. But I would like some of my own one day being in my mid thirties, I feel the pressure more and more to have kids.
It's fun when friends or family or my gynecologist tells me, you know, you're not getting any younger I'm well aware. Thanks. But it doesn't make it any easier.
Then there's the career page loading. Like I said before, it was good. I knew what I was doing. I was comfortable. if it's not broke, why fix it? But then one day it broke and needed to be fixed. And I needed to focus on all the things that I wanted to do on my life. So when something so familiar then changes, it gets hard. I was comfortable. I knew what I was doing.
So what are you doing while these pages are loading? I was waiting on everything to happen.
And all of a sudden it appeared to me like, why am I waiting on all these things to happen? It's more about what I'm doing while they're happening. It's the steps I take and the moments I make along the way. That's what I'm doing while I'm waiting on the marriage page. It's what I'm doing while I'm waiting on the career page.
So what I'm doing while I'm building a career, wanting to get married, it's all of these things that make up my life. It's all of these pieces that make up the moments in my life. It's these moments that make me stand tall here tonight to stand in front of all of you. And it takes patience to wait on these pages.
It takes work to stop and think about it. What you're doing, how you're living your life and what you truly do want. I feel like I'm constantly waiting on the next chapter of my life for the next page to fully load, without realizing that I'm right in the middle of what I used to look forward to all the things that I used to pray for.
Those are the things that I'm grateful for. It's this loading process that's unlike anything else that I've ever experienced before. It's a slow learning process that takes a great deal of intention.
So I know it's easier said than done, and I know life's a beautiful process that happens exactly the way it's supposed to. But I'm now being more intentional and I've changed my perspective on these loaded pages. And now I am moving forward more intentionally one spinning wheel at a time. Thank you.
Tiffany: No matter where you are in your journey, community is so key for where we're all going. And I'm on a mission to reach 100,000 people. But this message of being scared, confident. So I would love it. If you would share your favorite episode with your friend, just pull up your texts, send them a link. It'll take like two seconds the show isn't about me.
It's about helping other people on their journey of living full and complete lives. When we stepped totally and into an understanding of our. We can step fully into our stories as a thank you. I'm giving one fear interview to a listener. Puts your name in the ring by texting me the word fear to 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1.
The word fear, F E a R to 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1. And over the next couple of weeks, we will pick one person to go through the fear interview. Thanks for listening.