Thriving, not existing, in your relationship

Tiffany: I'm your host, Tiffany Sauder, and this is Scared Confident. So this season is about exploring a passionate life of, and, and when you decide that you're going to marry someone who has that point of view or, and you, and I's case, JR is like, co-exist more than co-exist like live a life together where you also have.

A lot of ans you want to be able to experience, what advice do you have for new couples that find themselves in a place where they realize you're there, we're going to be at a two career home, or maybe it's on a career, but each spouse has decided on a big thing that they're going to do other than.

You know, raising the kids and being a family. What advice do you have for not just existing, but like thriving in a relationship with somebody?

JR: I think there has to be a lot of intentionality around what you're connected on. And what are your, what your absolute SAR that you participate in together. But usually when you're in a relationship or married to somebody who has a big career, big dreams, there's a level of independence.

And freedom that they require and need. And as a spouse and supporter, you have to acknowledge that and support them in their individual pursuits as well. And if you're also a person with those dreams, it's like taking, you know, knowing when to be full throttle in your own pursuits, but then also knowing when you need to scale back and really be there as a companion.

And along for the ride and not the driver. And I'm not saying that as somebody who has it figured out, I'm just saying, that's what I've recognized in our own relationship and other people who have successful relationships and marriages, where you have two people with, again, big dreams, big careers that have successes.

Families

Tiffany: is my bent towards independence. Is that ever hard for you?

JR: Only when it gets in the way of things, I want it to, it's not hard for me, and that I'm pretty comfortable in what I'm going to go pursue. So I never view it as a negative. I mean, it gives you a ton of energy and to try to suppress that would, there'd be a domino effect, I think, in our lives in some way.

Tiffany: Yeah. I've, I've appreciated that. I feel like it's never, I'm sure there's times it's annoying, but I think the thing I appreciate is it's never threatened you. Like there's people who are not sort of sure enough in their own selves to like, you know, I think allow their spouse to be able to fly. And I've always appreciated that a lot about you.

So you said it in jest, like only when it stands in the way of what I want to do, but like what is behind that? I'm not like prompting to like, try to like dig for dirt. I'm just saying like, what's. There are

JR: times when it'd be nice. If you didn't have an event or something that you had to had to go to, and it could just be quiet.

Cause when you have. The girls, like there are times where you just need it to be quiet. And a lot of that time just doesn't exist for us right now. So for me, like that gives you energy and you're you're you tend to be more okay with that. Then I'm like, there are times where I just need like a few hours to just decompress.

Tiffany: My mission for scare confident is to help women confidently pursue a life of an. And I want to be available to you. I'm passionate about vulnerably, stepping into my stories so that it can help women. This is about creating the resource that I wish I had as I was going through this journey. So if you have questions, comments, or feedback, I'd love to hear from you.

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