When it’s time for help

Tiffany:

I'm your host, Tiffany Sauder. And this is Scared Confident. This question is one that someone texted in and that is what do you do when life is no longer sustainable? And the subtext on it was like, how do you know what you're going through? Like a hard time versus it's time to actually get help. And what they were meaning is like you yourself, not the physical activities around you. Your mental state, your ability to be able to understand and process your own emotions. Like how do you know if you need to get a counselor involved or is it just like something you just need to cut through and power through and handle it yourself? For me, this is one of those things I think is very personal journey.

And I know I'm not qualified to like say you should or should not get a counselor, but I can speak to my own experiences. There's twice that I've gotten professional help in both of them. I remember getting to a place where I felt like I was just like open source. Walking around the world, not feeling like I had any protection.

And I knew I was at a place where I couldn't see my situation clearly anymore. And so the idea of me having the tools or the context or the experience to be able to help me, help myself through something I'd never been through before I knew it was time to get. Some outside help and support. What I learned through that experience is that it's like the rudest process ever that when you're hurting you then need to go be discerning about who you're getting help from. And you're at a place where you're just not very discerning or not feeling like an into, like you have a lot of intellectual superpowers. And so going in through the process of interviewing counselors, finding somebody who can help you is very hard when you feel really raw. So I want to encourage you if you're listening to this and you're feeling this way to know that starting the process is an important part of starting the process.

And when you begin it, it's kind of like, I want to be fixed now. And there's like this great impatience that comes with it. And I remember when I went through the journey, the first time I realized it might take me. A few months to find a person that could help me. But even in that process of beginning to talk to people, whether they were the right person for me or the wrong person, you begin to have tiny little moments of clarity that are beginning to put you on your journey.

So step into the process and know that beginning the process is the beginning of the process. And it might take you 15 people that you talk to to find the person who is right for you to help you. It might take you three or you might get lucky and it's the first person. But begin the process and low don't let it be a deterrent to beginning the process, because what you're wanting to do is start healing, but that's not where it starts.

You have to first find the person that you feel like you can trust. That's aligned with your views that is got experience that matches your, you know, where you need help, all those kinds of things. I also think going to a counselor gave me the courage to kind of confront the size of what was in my heart and what I was going through.

And I think. My life could have been served if I would've been able to even be that vulnerable with some of my friends about what I was going through, but it felt safer to talk about it with somebody professional, which is the right place to start. But I think my friends could have helped me even more had I had the courage to kind of be as honest with them as I was wanting to be. With a more clinical therapist or more somebody who is going to take a more clinical approach to helping me through my own experience. So it's important that when you know, you're at a spot where you're stuck, that you have the courage to be able to speak your truth, to speak the places that you need help.

And I don't think you're ever going to be, I think erring on the side of seeking outside support versus not is probably the safer. Saline versus believing you can always get yourself through it because we only have the experiences of the things we've experienced and relying on the wisdom, the objectivity, the comfort, the love of the people around us and of professionals who have stepped into counseling and coaching is a really, really important part of us becoming well-rounded. And I think seeing ourselves in a more complete way, my mission for scare confident is to help women confidently pursue a life of and. And I want to be available to you. I'm passionate about vulnerably, stepping into my stories so that it can help women.

This is about creating. I wish I had as I was going through this journey. So if you have questions, comments, or feedback, I'd love to hear from you. Text me at 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1.

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