How do you define success as a mom?
Tiffany: I'm your host, Tiffany Sauder. And this is Scared Confident. How do I define success as a mom? I remember imagining like before I had kids, when it started to become clear to me that I would be a career mom, I would be a working mom. I wondered like what? I know my kids, what I know when I needed to be there for them.
What I know. When they were sad. What I know what questions to ask them, because the truth of the matter is if you're going to be working, you're going to be away from them a lot. If you're going to be working outside the home, that's what I mean, you know, like a job, like what I have. And so I wondered like what I know them, would it be possible for me to be in tune?
With their hearts with their needs, um, with what it was that they needed from me as a mom, knowing that each kid is in a lot of ways just to experiment, you know, you've not parented that kid before. And I will say that at this stage, in the journey, you know, with Aubrey, she's like two thirds of the way through our house.
And I've been a mom for almost 13 years. The I'm pleasantly surprised at how close I feel to them. I'm pleasantly surprised that my answer is I really do feel like I know when my kids are having a good day or a bad day, I really feel like I know. There tells inside of the way they show up or how talkative they are or aren't a dinner or their body language.
And so when I'm asked this question of like, what success look like for me as a mom, I think is having the intuition about each child that I'm not so busy with my own goals. I'm not so preoccupied with what's in my mind. I'm not so distracted that I. I have enough left over for them. And I think for me, it's success is having the space to really have that intuition to be, you really know that I'm in tune with them, that I know when asked the question one more time, are you really okay?
That to me is success. I think it can be difficult. You know, I like think about this idea of, so if your kids turn out, whatever that means, you know, like quote unquote turnout, they become. The thing you imagined them to be, does that mean that you were a good parent? Like, I don't know. I think people can be extraordinary parents and sometimes kids take bad paths.
So I don't know. I think about that as Audrey starts to get to a place where she is making some of her own decisions and she gets to begin to exercise what it is like to be, you know, a pre-teen a teenager and adult that I don't know that being. A successful parent is entirely connected to the outcome.
I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud about that as I get to new stages and phases of parenting. So in short success, for me as a parent is knowing that I have enough in the tank to not just be with them, but to really be in tune. With my kids. And I think when that is the case, they feel heard and they feel seen, and they understand that I have capacity for them.
And that there's a special connection between me as a parent and them as my kid, that I'm able to be there for them in a really unique way. When both on they're celebrating and they're excited and you can tell in your kids' eyes that they have something really cool. They want to share with you. And you also, I think can read their body and read their eyes and read their engagement and know when they're sad or hurting or have something difficult that they need to talk through.
So I hope I'm never too busy for those moments. I hope that I continue to find the energy. That find it, but to create the energy, to have the energy, to choose the energy, to put into my kids that way. So I'm curious, how do you define success? And those of you who have kids that are older and you begin to see some of their own decisions and whether those are in line or different from what you would have chosen for them, how does that inform the way that you think.
How about yourself as a good quote, unquote or bad quote, unquote, parent. I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to text me at 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1 3 1 7 3 5 0 8 9 2 1.
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