How to prep the family when mom travels for work

[00:00:00] Tiffany Sauder: I try not to apologize to my kids for being gone. It's a choice that I've made to step into one of my ands, which is to be CEO and to, Work in a way that makes me feel really fulfilled. And so I don't say to them, I'm sorry, I have to be away. I say to them, this is an important part of the pieces of what I've committed to.

I need to do well in those responsibilities. And one of the sacrifices that I need to make is to be away from you guys for a week and I'll miss you and I love you and I'll do everything I can to make sure that you feel supported while I'm away. And you'll be fine.

This is going to be one of those episodes where I'm just literally dumping what I'm in the middle of right now. So, we are just getting back from spring break. We have a one 24 hour turnaround, from getting home to when I need to leave again to be gone for four or five days for a work trip. And so I thought, why don't I just talk about how I prep my family, how I prep my house, our food.

All the things, when I'm going to be traveling. So I've shared like Jr being gone is pretty regular. Me being gone is pretty irregular for the girls. And so, I have to do stuff to prep so that their world continues to spin. And there is like minimum disruption on all the things that are happening.

So I'm going to walk through five things that I do, to kind of help everybody feel safe and comfortable. I would say just like the least amount of turbulence in the household while I'm gone. And I think also for me to feel like I'm just still the mom, like it still feels like there's a little bit of mom touch while I'm away.

So I'm going to go through those five things, but I was like cracking up cause we just got back from spring break. We traveled, we were on planes. I took my backpack. My computer and something things in it and I was just getting ready to switch it out To like get ready to go for a work trip and I found the funniest things in it.

So I found Our portable speaker business because we're fun family and like to listen to music Dutch Blitz If you don't know this game, it's the most fun. It's like fast and I love it. course, some Elsa headphones was in my backpack. this, I think you would guess it is a Barbie. wheelchair, a Barbie wheelchair.

We were very afraid this is going to get crushed if we put it in a suitcase. So that came in and then, also a size. 3T sweatshirt because I was pretty sure my little one was going to get cold on the plane, but of course not. So I just ended up carrying it. So anyway, I just like feel like there's these funny moments where this life of and comes forward so clearly where my worlds are converging and I'm like switching it over to a a work Tiffany version and right now Quincy is knocking on my office door Quincy I will be out in a little bit.

okay, we're doing the things right now Today was also the eclipse. And so my girls are home one more day from school And we're doing a quick transition and I need to be sure that I record a podcast I so that we don't have a big gap in the feed.

So we are living a life of and like to the fullest today. Okay. I'm going to go through my five things that I do when I'm prepping to be gone really for any amount of time, but I think I'm gone for three or four nights. So it's like go a little bit. Okay. The first thing that I do is I ask each one of the girls, what is important to you this week?

What is important to you this week? I think we can prepare and try to be like mama bear in ways that is actually not that meaningful to them. And so this is my way of making sure that I am meeting their needs exactly for where their attention is. For instance, my second one has her first, track meet this week.

And she's like, my coach told us not to take like a bunch of food. She's going to be there after school until like eight o'clock. And so she's like, I want quick. snack options, that I can just throw in my bag that can easily go with me. So I was like, okay, let's talk about what some of those options are.

Peanut butter balls, blah, blah, blah. So that was a way that was very unique that she wanted to feel supported this week. And so I was able to get in front of that. My third one she always wants me to pick her clothes out before I leave for each day that I'm gonna be gone for some reason That is very important to her picking him out in the morning is stressful.

She doesn't feel as good and what dad picks out I don't know what it is, but that's important to her. So the first thing I do is Is ask the girls, what is important to you this week and how do we get ahead of it? So that when it comes, you feel like really supported and that's already taken care of. And it's like not stressful for you.

So that is number one, The second one you already know I'm gonna have something around food.

This is a big part of the way that I experience caring for my family and I just feel better when I eat good food, and I know that they do too, and so I Like to prep ahead of time. I will usually kind of meal plan for them What's to eat each night for dinner like hey, this is It's Monday's tacos, Tuesday's spaghetti meatballs.

They can mix it up if they want to, but it's one less decision for everybody to make while I'm away. And I prepped four things. One was a bunch of cut up fruits and veggies, very standard fare for us. I just get great big Tupperwares. Wash and cut it, prep it, whatever needs to happen. And if you align the Tupperware with, paper towel, it absorbs the moisture and it stays good a lot longer.

So prep fruits and veggies so that they can quick snacks, throw them in their lunch boxes, whatever that looks like. That's one thing I always do. I always make a big crock pot of shredded chicken. It's about three and a half minutes of prep for me. And I just put it on the counter for four hours and shred it.

Salt and pepper. I think I used a little bit of like Jamaican jerk seasoning this time, but they will. Put that over packets of rice. They'll have it on tortillas for quesadillas. over sweet potato, like they'll eat that shredded chicken in a ton of different ways. And I usually do four to six chicken breasts.

which is probably about three pounds is my guess to maybe two and a half pounds. And so there's a ton of shredded chicken for them to use in whatever way. And sometimes it's just, he didn't eat it like good, lean, quick protein. So good for everybody in the family. So I do chicken. Usually almost always I'll make turkey pesto meatballs.

Again, I usually even have them cooked. Very easy for them to heat and eat. They can serve it over pasta with some, spaghetti sauce. And then there's a soup, that's in the fridge as well this time actually from my sister in law. So I was like, yeah, sure. We'll take that. That'll be a meal while I'm gone.

So a soup, a meatball shredded chicken, something like that. Very easy, flexible foods for my family to eat while I'm gone. So that's kind of how I prep food. Again, I do usually preset a menu for each dinner that I'm going to be gone, or I'll let JR know like, Hey, there's one night that I don't have food planned.

Can you go ahead and plan on getting pizza or some type of a carry out, for the family so that that's kind of pre set up. And it's not this big, frustrating stumbling block for the evening. Cause that's already kind of a high, pressure point in our day. Kids are coming home from practice. People are hungry, kind of anxious about homework, just all the stuff.

And so the more that the food can just be taken care of and kind of feel normal, is a big part of everybody just kind of like the water continuing to flow down the river. the third one is I have this, um, word document and I will put a link to, this document and show notes of like what I use, but it's a word document that shows every single day what happens, who's going where, what's getting picked up, who's picking up, who's dropping off.

If you're packing lunch, all those kinds of things every single day. So it'll say Monday, It'll have a chronological order of the rundown of what's happening, who's picking up and who's dropping off. If there's any carpools that need to be run, it'll identify what dinner is that day. and I will print the schedule off for everybody tonight after dinner and.

I will go through it with the whole family and our family meeting. And that's the fourth one is our family meeting that becomes critical when I'm going to be away so that everybody knows what's happening. This feels like overkill, but think about if you are going to be gone from your job for a week. At work, like if you're going to go on vacation, you would like have a process for what happens when I'm not here to make this happen.

I can't just extract myself from our systems, from our processes, from the way the household runs without a handoff very clearly of who is going to do these things while I'm away. So sometimes I look at it, I'm like, man, this is so much work, but I am the chief operating officer of our household. And if I'm going to be gone from work for a week, like my job that pays me a job, I'm going to make sure that there's transition, that there's like somebody filling in the gaps and that I've planned ahead or I worked ahead or I prepped or whatever it is.

It is the same thing when I'm gone, from our household. I have to make sure that other people understand what's happening. Again, I remember as a kid feeling like, who's going to pick me up? It's kind of creepy. I don't know. Um, I don't know. what mom is it? What car am I supposed to be looking for at after track practice?

I think there's 7, 000 cars in the parking lot. And so if Ainsley doesn't know who's picking her up, it can be like kind of stressful. Like And so those moments just feeling like really confident for them, I think is important.

and as a mom, it makes me feel like I'm still caring for them specifically while I'm away. So this printed schedule that I go through, it helps me make sure I have gotten everything covered that needs to be covered. It makes for me sure that there's been an information handoff. Me as a person who knows the information to my family to make sure everybody who's impacted by the changes understands what their new responsibility is and what needs to happen.

And then we'll make that handoff in our family meeting, all the girls will have copies. I will like literally have them read back to me what it is that they understand is happening for them that week to be sure they understand it. And if there's any nuance that that gets cleared up. so the fourth one is that family meeting we do them.

Probably 75 percent of the time we have a family meeting once a week. I'd love to get to that to be a hundred, but that's where we are right now. But when I'm going to be gone, it always happens because that is a really critical handoff moment. And I'll ask him, how are you feeling about things? What are you worried about?

Um, Ainsley's got her first track meet and I'm not going to be there. And I suspect she'll say something like, I'm bummed. You're not going to be there, mom. And I'll ask her how I can support her from afar. And she might say, you already have, or there's something else I need to do. I don't know. but I can't be there and I'm, I'm.

like, I will be like, Hey honey, I love you and I support you, but I'm not going to apologize. It's a choice I made for my job and we all have to sacrifice sometimes for the commitments that we make as a family. so that is the fourth one is the family meeting.

And the fifth one is making some type of a visual for the little kids. This, I realized when my older girls were younger, I would say, I'm going to be home on Friday or Saturday and Friday or Saturday is the most abstract thing ever to a kid. They don't really know what day of the week it is, like when you're three or four years old.

And so I'll put some type of a visual on the fridge so that Quincy for sure, she's three and Ivy as well, kind of see some type of a countdown of when I'm going to be home. Sometimes I use like a paper chain or they take one link off every single day. Sometimes I just have like. squares that they put a big X in and on the one that has a heart, mom's going to be home, but something that helps them see, Hey, we're tracking, we're making progress.

This is how long it's going to be until mom gets home. So, I think it's good for the kids sometimes for me to be away. I think that it, just puts a little bit more responsibility on them. I'll ask my big girls to like, make sure they check in with Ivy in particular, the eight year old, to like, make sure in the evening she's doing okay before bed and anything that I don't know might've happened at school or something that they kind of take some quiet time and just listen to her for a little bit.

So, The girls and I, when JR is traveling, it's like special time for me just with them. And so when I'm away, it's an awesome time for JR to step in and do bedtime for, you know, his way of doing things to come forward into our household. And I think that's cool. So, yeah. So if you're in a job that has you traveling a lot or intermittently like me right now, these five things really help me feel like I'm handing off my role well of the chief operating officer of the household where everybody who's part of the system understand what needs to happen. And also I think makes me feel like I've just gone through the checklist of all the stuff that sits in my head during the week, that all of that is somewhere really specific that other people can understand what's happening.

my nanny will certainly be a big part of this week and making sure that things continue to keep rolling. and I have an amazing husband who is going to need to step in and kind of help out as well. in ways that he doesn't have to necessarily when I'm home. So the five things real quickly as a recap.

Number one, ask each kid what's important to you this week, and prioritize that over maybe the things that you think might be important. the second is food prep. If that's, part of your family routine, I usually have three things that I do, A shredded protein, a meatball, and then some type of a soup or something like that, that's kind of a one pot dish.

And then a bunch of veggies and fruit that are prepped, a printed schedule for the family that gets everything out of my head onto a piece of paper so that everybody understand what's happening. We transfer that information and the fourth thing, which is a family meeting. And then the fifth, if you have little kids, some type of a visual, on the fridge for your younger kids so that they know when you're going to be returning.

So, Yeah. And I think as a reminder,

I try not to apologize to my kids for being gone. It's a choice that I've made to step into one of my ands, which is to be CEO and to, Work in a way that makes me feel really fulfilled. And so I don't say to them, I'm sorry, I have to be away. I say to them, this is an important part of the pieces of what I've committed to.

I need to do well in those responsibilities. And one of the sacrifices that I need to make is to be away from you guys for a week and I'll miss you and I love you and I'll do everything I can to make sure that you feel supported while I'm away. And you'll be fine.

You are going to be fine. A little bit of disappointment, a little bit of, things not going perfectly.

A little bit of last minute solving, you know, some of that I think is good for them. So, I just sometimes, I think I have to stop what can feel a little bit like a reflex to say, I'm sorry, honey, I'm going to be away. I don't feel sorry about it actually, cause I'm a grownup and I got to choose to be away.

And I need to own that decision. And, one of the things that I need them to do and beside all of the amazing things that they get in their life because their dad and I have decided to, pursue careers and there's a lot of awesome opportunities that opens up for the girls. There are also moments of sacrifice that they have in that journey as well.

and that's just like real life. There's some really cool things that come with the things I've said yes to, and there's some really hard things that come with the things that I've said yes to. And it's the same for you in your life. So, let's remember to model that for our kids, to not shield them from the things that are hard.

Teach them that like, you're tough, you've got fortitude, you can do this, you can solve. we can do this a little different way and it still be okay. I don't want them to live in a cocoon. So, all right, well, this is, uh, raw export of exactly what I'm going through right now, exactly what I'm solving for exactly the process that I'm running and, I'd love to hear what you do.

If you travel intermittently and need to kind of like replace your role as COO inside of your household. And I hope that some of these tips have helped you better serve your family, the people that you love, the people that are doing life close to you. They sometimes have, There's a big ask of them as well to live beside somebody who wants a lot of the life.

So, I hope this episode helps you a little bit in your journey as you seek to love the people close to you in the best way possible and also chase after your life of and thanks for listening.

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