How to take back control of your family dinnertime

Taylor Berger [00:00:00]:I would love for us all to eat together and that is like my goal when they get a little bit older to like be able to all sit together, have dinner together, you know, talk as a family, but right now it's, we're not quite there.

Tiffany Sauder [00:00:37]:I'm a small town kid born with a big city spirit. I choose to play a lot of awesome roles in life. Mom, wife, entrepreneur, CEO, board member, investor, and mentor. 17 years ago, I founded a marketing consultancy, and ever since, my husband, Jr. And I have been building our careers and our family on the exact same timeline. Yep. That means four kids, three businesses, two careers, all building towards one life we love. When I discovered that I could purposely embrace all of these ands in my life, it unlocked my world, and I want that for you, too.

Tiffany Sauder [00:01:13]:I'm Tiffany Sauder, and this is scared confident.

I'll tell you why I reached out. You messaged me like, oh, my word, this feels exactly like my life, where the morning is, all of this administrative stuff. You do your day, you put the kids to bed, and then all weekend long, you're doing the things. And, yeah, you go to bed and you start all over, which some of that's where your stage is, but some of it doesn't have to be. So my life looked like that, and I look back and wonder if I knew what I knew now, did it have to look like that? Maybe it does. I don't know.

Tiffany Sauder [00:04:57]:But this is where I'm living vicariously through amazing young professionals that I know. Like you is like, what if we sat with my 43 year old wisdom and your 33 year old life? I don't know exactly how old you are, but it's.

Taylor Berger [00:05:09]:I don't know either. But I think it's 33, 32.

Tiffany Sauder [00:05:11]:It's around there. Yeah. Does it have to be that way? And so I think that's the question we're all asking, actually. Like, at every stage is like, am I doing it right? Does it have to be this way? What part is hard? Because that's just part of what I've said yes to. And what part is hard because I just haven't solved well for it yet. And so I told Morgan and Kyla the same thing. I was like, this is an experiment. I don't actually know if I'll be helpful, but let's go through the conversation and see.

Tiffany Sauder [00:05:39]:And so I thought you would be another safe place for me to just try out my 43 year old wisdom and your 33 year old life to say, is there something in the ingredients of you and your life where I could help you guys make it just a little bit simpler? Because you start to feel like you're not living in your life at all.

Taylor Berger [00:05:57]:Yeah, I was going to say, I think that that's also part of you. And I had this conversation a while back where kind of like, you finally, I felt like going into this year, I had kind of gotten the routine down of having two kids and how to balance where they need to go and what they need, and they're kind of, like, a little less. Like, as soon as Rowan got off formula feeding and bottle feeding and that kind of stuff and eating human food, you feel like you kind of get into this. Like they're a little bit more independent. But then Soren started preschool this year, and this is just, like, the tip of the iceberg. I know of what it's going to be like with school, but it's like, not only do we have Christmas coming up, their birthdays, and today is Soren's ranger day, so I had to bring in snacks for the entire classroom and his favorite book, and we had to decorate stockings, and I have to get the stocking stuffers. And it's all in December, and I'm like, I want to lose my mind. And that's just preschool, let alone when they actually get into kindergarten and elementary school and they have dresses and elf day, and I don't know, all the things that lead up to all the different holidays.

Taylor Berger [00:06:55]:It's insane.

Tiffany Sauder [00:06:56]:The countdown to the last day of school. I want to murder that teacher. Every time they send me home, it's like, 28 days left. Send 28 marshmallows. I'm just like, can we not?

Taylor Berger [00:07:10]:Oh, my God. So, yeah, I'm down for that.

Tiffany Sauder [00:07:13]:For those who don't know you, Taylor, give an overview of the stages of your kids, just so they kind of know.

Taylor Berger [00:07:19]:Like, so I have two kids. One is about to turn four years old on Christmas, and the other is about to turn two years old this week. So 2 December babies, but they're about two years apart. One's in preschool, and one goes to daycare throughout the week.

Tiffany Sauder [00:07:34]:Okay. And then talk about your work schedule and husband's work schedule. Like, when are you guys leaving? Who's working remote? Who's going to the office again? People can't. They don't know your life.

Taylor Berger [00:07:44]:Basically, our day starts out where the kids wake up roughly around 636 45 every day. And my husband, he is a dentist, so he has to get into work by eight. So he's kind of in charge of Rowan, I'm in charge of Soren, who's the four year old. And we both kind of start getting ready at the same, like, so where he goes down and he makes Rowan breakfast, I go down and make.

Tiffany Sauder [00:08:06]:Oh, you like divide and conquer?

Taylor Berger [00:08:08]:Yes. Because Soren is a very picky eater. Rowan will eat anything. So it's like we're already going to be making different things anyway. So we've made it kind of this thing where you know exactly everything that Rowan likes and does, and you can get that down to a routine. I'm the same with Soren. He'll leave with Rowan, take her to daycare, and then I get Soren all packed up and ready to go to school. Lunch is packed.

Taylor Berger [00:08:30]:His is a little bit more intensive because of the preschool thing. So I have to make sure he has his homework signed and the lunches packed and a little bit more things that Eric is just not. That's not his strong suit. So I own that. And then we both leave the house around 710 715. Take the kids to where they need to go, and then, luckily, I work remotely, so I just come back home, make my coffee, and then get my day started from there. And then Eric goes into work. Like I said, he has to be there by eight.

Tiffany Sauder [00:08:58]:And then what time do your kids need to be picked up?

Taylor Berger [00:09:00]:Soren has to be picked up by 430. So I go pick him up by 430, and then Rowan's is five. So then I swing around and then go to her daycare and pick her up, like, 445. My husband doesn't usually get off until he usually ends his day around, like, 530 or six. And then it's about a 30 minutes commute. So he doesn't get back to, like, 630 at night. Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder [00:09:22]:And he works five days a week, is that right?

Taylor Berger [00:09:24]:He works four days a week. It'll probably change when maybe the kids get into school. I have a feeling he'll probably, as they start to expand their practice, he'll probably take on Fridays. But as they're younger, he actually really just wants to spend time with them. So he watches them all day Friday, so they don't go to daycare or preschool on Fridays. So he kind of stays home with them, which is great. But also, I work from home, so it's kind of a chaotic day here, but sometimes I'll go somewhere else or I'll just work in my office.

Tiffany Sauder [00:09:51]:Tell me, how did you grow up? Did your mom stay home? Did she work? Did your dad stay home? What did that look like?

Taylor Berger [00:09:58]:Both of my parents worked growing up. They were both in sales, which is interesting. I think it was stressful for them at times because their sales, it was obviously very dependent on commission based. So it's like if they didn't hit their quota for the year, it was really stressful in our household with that. It gave them really flexible schedules. So my mom did work. She had a job, multiple jobs that allowed for her to be home sometimes during the day, and then she would do events at night. So it kind of was a nice balance that we always had someone watching us, but they did both work.

Tiffany Sauder [00:10:32]:Did you feel that stress as a kid, or do you just in hindsight, remember hearing them now hear them about it?

Taylor Berger [00:10:39]:Yeah. My family is a very loud family. We were always very vocal about everything. And so I would remember hearing arguments about it as a child, not fully understanding what that meant. And I honestly sometimes wonder if that's why I didn't go into sales. I think I had this stigma of I love people and I love talking to people, but I don't think I wanted that stress of what I saw. But they were both actually very successful at it. They were both really good.

Taylor Berger [00:11:08]:But just those years where it was harder, if something with the economy went, it affected our family in more swings. So when it was really good, it was really good. We did lots of vacations. We did all the things when it wasn't very good, we were cutting out coupons and that kind of stuff.

Tiffany Sauder [00:11:24]:When you were young and in school, did you go to daycare? Did you go to before and after school? What did that look like for you?

Taylor Berger [00:11:31]:Usually my grandparents, it would rotate between our neighbors. We were really good friends, close with our neighbors, and they had a stay at home mom. So we would a lot of times go to their house and just hang out until our parents could pick us up or my grandparents would pick us up. So I don't think I ever did. Yeah, I never did the after school or before school. I always got on the bus. That was usually we were bus kids. My husband and I talk about this all the time because we were so different in how we were brought up.

Taylor Berger [00:12:00]:I was on the bus. I did the hot school lunches. I did all the things. Or if I did want to lunch, my mom would make me pack it. And Eric was like, my mom drove me to school and picked me up and packed my lunch and all this stuff. And it's been a conversation we've had because I'm like, no, our kids are getting on the bus 100%. They're going to get on the bus. It builds character.

Taylor Berger [00:12:19]:And he was like, no, I don't want them getting on the bus. So it was just like all these different things.

Tiffany Sauder [00:12:23]:I was a bus kid, and my kids are bus kids. Non bus kids think it's like full on riff raff on there.

Taylor Berger [00:12:28]:I know. Time.

Tiffany Sauder [00:12:32]:Yeah, they get mad when they can't ride the bus. Sometimes if JR is traveling, I'll go work out early and then just drive them to school because they get so mad at me because they want to ride the bus.

Taylor Berger [00:12:44]:Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:12:46]:Well, I still remember, too.

Taylor Berger [00:12:47]:It definitely was something that if we missed the bus, it was a big thing because my parents were, again, perspective. At the time, I didn't realize I was like, well, so what? You have to drive me. But I didn't realize they have a job and meetings they have to be at and all this stuff. And so it's funny to think about sometimes where I was like, I'd never realized why they got so upset if I missed the bus once or twice. But it was something that definitely made me, I think, be someone who's always on time. That was the first thing where I was like, I have to make sure I get the bus. Don't miss the bus.

Tiffany Sauder [00:13:21]:So when you were like, a little girl, like, 1012 14, did you think you would grow up and be a professional like your mom was, or what did you think it would look like?

Taylor Berger [00:13:30]:Well, what I thought it would look like was I would always remember, like, in fifth grade, my mom would come pick me up, and she'd be like, in her suit, and she was a buyer at the time, so she always had Louis Vuitton and all this stuff. So she always looked so fancy and to come pick me up, and I'm.

Tiffany Sauder [00:13:45]:Like, yeah, that's my mom.

Taylor Berger [00:13:46]:She's pretty cool. And when we would play, my mom was like, you never played with dolls. You never did any of that. You were always the type that played like, let's play work. And so you would get our old keyboards out and type on it and answer phone calls, and it was more like pretend play of going to Harvard. It was more kind of always playing the role of getting up and going out the door and going to work and all the exciting things, and that was, like, one of the things. Also, even in college, I remember everyone's like, oh, no, we're graduating. It's going to be all downhill from here.

Taylor Berger [00:14:17]:And I was like, I'm super pumped to graduate and have a job to go to every day and stuff like that. So I've always known that I wanted to do that.

Tiffany Sauder [00:14:26]:I want to kind of just also anchor on what help do you have now? You have a daycare and preschool that your kids go to during the day. Do you have a cleaning lady? Do you have anything else that helps you?

Taylor Berger [00:14:37]:Yes. So my mom taught me very early on is if there's stuff that stresses you out, if you can afford it, pay to outsource it. So a big thing also, even, like, growing up, when I was wanting the most expensive jeans or whatever, she's like, okay, let's do the math. These pair of jeans are $120. You have to work. Like, you get paid $14 an hour, so you have to work x amount of hours in order to pay for these jeans. Is that worth it to you? And then I'd decide, yes, it's worth it. Always.

Taylor Berger [00:15:07]:Yes, I do have a cleaning lady because cleaning was one of my big stressors. I'm a very type a personality type. When I feel relaxed in the evening, I can sit down and my house is clean, and I can just sit there and be in my cozy space. So I have a clean lady that helps with that. And then. This is a little bit of a tangent, but even on a daily thing, the thing that has been the biggest wake up call for me is having two toddlers and the amount of crumbs that get everywhere, no matter how much you try to wipe it up at the table or keep it on the plate, it just travels with them everywhere, all over the house. And I was at my breaking point, and on Black Friday, I was like, I saw those deals where it's like the roomba or the vacuum that does the vacuuming and the mopping at the same time because I was always, like, on my hands and knees with the yogurt splatters everywhere, too, and I was, like, wiping it up daily, and I was stressing me out. So one of those things where I was like, yeah, I'll pay the one, $200 for one of these vacuums that cleans itself and does everything.

Taylor Berger [00:16:03]:Because to me, that's like 45 minutes gone out of my day that I can have back to myself at the end of every day and feel like I'm in a clean house every day and not have to be vacuuming and cleaning and that kind of stuff. So anyway, that's a personal preference. But also, luckily, we have two. Both of our families, my in laws live down the street, and then my parents live about 15 minutes away. So that has been a godsend because there was a time, as you know, when I lived in Boston, and Eric and I were like, well, maybe we know live here and have kids, and this could be our thing. And I am so thankful we decided against that because I truly don't know how we would survive this past week. Coincidentally, my family and his family were both out of the country, and we were like, who's going to pick up the kids when I have to work late that one day I didn't know about and all that stuff. So it's a real wake up call to not have family close by to help and lean on in those emergency situations.

Tiffany Sauder [00:17:05]:Yeah, that's right. You have to figure out, I tell young couples, you have to have a backup plan before you need your backup plan. And it's like, awesome if it can be family, but if it can't be, you have to figure out who your backup plan is. If you're going to be consistent in your work, you have to be able to have this triage phone tree.

Taylor Berger [00:17:24]:I wanted to contact our nanny that we had over the summer, but she was a college student and I don't think they're quite back from. I think they don't get out of college break or whatever until mid December. But I was like, maybe we have her as a backup on certain times when. Because you're right, I think there needs to be someone else that's besides family. And we've learned that this week. And I don't know who I would call that I would feel comfortable enough to put a car seat in and get our kids because that's a whole other thing, too, is like, it's car seat time right now. So you have to make sure that they have car seat. And it's not just like jumping in someone's car to take them somewhere.

Taylor Berger [00:17:58]:It's a little bit more involved. My husband and I, and I feel like you're the perfect person to talk through this, is we both absolutely hate cooking. I hate it. He hates it. When we go grocery shopping, we literally get the same, like three to four meals that we know how to cook and that's what we eat every single week. It's so monotonous. And we're also pretty healthy eaters, so going out all the time isn't really an option either. Because number one, it's expensive.

Taylor Berger [00:18:30]:Number two, it's usually not the healthiest. And so that's been a huge stressor in my life. Every day I dread it's like getting closer to 05:00 and I'm like, I have to pick the kids up and I have no idea what I'm making for dinner.

Tiffany Sauder [00:18:42]:All right, let's talk about food, but let's do the other one. Then we'll go to food. I'll just tell you a couple of things that I try. We also live by family, but if they are your only backup, especially as your parents get older, they want to retire and have their own life and go to shows and go travel in Europe. How dare them. So I really encourage young couples to have a list of at least three people that you use somewhat regularly so that your kids are used to them and you are used to them. It can even be you and your husband are like on a Saturday morning going to go to brunch for 2 hours. It doesn't have to contrive it if you almost have to, just so that there's like, familiarity.

Tiffany Sauder [00:19:25]:I have two or three now, but I have extra car seats in my garage on a shelf because I oftentimes can't get. I'm in Carmel, they're in Zionsville. Whatever. In my garage all the time. And they just drive to my house, they plug it in, and then they put it back there when they get back. It's like it's spot.

Taylor Berger [00:19:44]:I love that. Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:19:46]:Sometimes the grandparents are going to take them home. I literally just have extra ones. The infant ones are like expensive and hard, but the other ones, for a couple hundred bucks, you can.

Taylor Berger [00:19:56]:She's out of the infant one now, so it would be.

Tiffany Sauder [00:19:59]:The booster suits are even less. But yeah, I literally just have them in the garage, very top shelf. There's a little step stool, and everybody knows where it is. And if I say, hey, I need you to go pick up the kids, they'll say, do I need to swing by and get Quincy? Is the car seat in the garage? Like, they just know where it is. So that has been a very helpful hack. The one in my car is not that the one that they have to figure out how to.

Taylor Berger [00:20:19]:Yes, that's. That's been the hardest part, too. Is like, yeah, how do we get. The only car seats we have are in my car, so therefore I still have to go wherever they are anyway. At that point, it's like I might as well just. It doesn't help at all. How did you go about finding someone that. I guess my biggest thing is, I think of who I would ask if it was like a Saturday night and Eric and I were going out, my parents couldn't watch the kids.

Taylor Berger [00:20:41]:We have a few high school, roughly aged kids. I haven't gotten over that initial hurdle of feeling like, usually they'll just come over to our house, watch the kids, and then we get back, and that's. But, like, I haven't actually had anyone else besides family. Eric and I pick up the kids with car seats and drive. Is there like, vetting process or. I don't really know. Or maybe it's just so you get comfortable with the people.

Tiffany Sauder [00:21:09]:It is a little bit of a trust fall. That's true. I don't have very many high schoolers. I really like this young professional, 23 to 27. They're not married yet. Maybe even somebody who works in the front office of your husband's office, where they're responsible. They've got five years of driving under their belt, they understand the responsibility of taking care of, like, a two year old. And what I find is they usually know each other.

Tiffany Sauder [00:21:39]:Like, if you find one really responsible 23 or 24 year old, they usually know another one. There's some babysitter apps that you can use. Do you guys have bambino up there? I think it's called? I don't know.

Taylor Berger [00:21:52]:I definitely can look into it. Bambino.

Tiffany Sauder [00:21:55]:Bambino is down here. And so I've gotten some off of there. Like church. Ask your, like, anywhere where you're in community with people, where you're know, you add value to my life and I'm paying you for a service. They're probably in a similar just like, space, taste level and all of that. That's where I get connected to a lot of them. And then Danielle taught me this. If you find somebody good, give them like $100 finders fee.

Tiffany Sauder [00:22:20]:If they connect you with somebody that you hire. And, like, a really responsible 23 year old who works at a company in town, probably has a colleague that also is amazing. And so just pay like a referral fee.

Taylor Berger [00:22:34]:That is super helpful.

Tiffany Sauder [00:22:35]:Chloe and Nancy, they're sisters and I, like, text them both. Chloe kind of is older, and so she usually gets first writer refusal. And if she can't, then Nancy does. Yes. I had them both come because I had kids going in different directions. A girl named Tess who I got off of next door. I had quite a bit of success with nextdoor.

Taylor Berger [00:22:54]:I wish we would have had this conversation a week ago. So this could have helped going into this past week and a half without any in laws or parents.

Tiffany Sauder [00:23:02]:But what you just have to know is that's not going to go away. You know what I mean? And so being thoughtful about even when your parents can just like, hey, twice a quarter, we're going to use a sitter just as a way to get people who know our house, know our kids. We get comfortable with them. It's just like a necessity. And as they get older, they're going to need to stay after school for an hour. You're just going to have to have people that help you, I think.

Taylor Berger [00:23:28]:Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder [00:23:29]:Okay, let's talk about food. What would you like it to look like?

Taylor Berger [00:23:33]:I don't know. I feel like I would love to not at least Monday through Wednesday, I would say, like three days out of the week. Because I know inevitably sometimes my parents will be like, hey, we'll pick the kids up, come over to our house for dinner on one of the nights. So I would love to have three meals that are already planned. My biggest thing is, like I said, eric doesn't get home until around 630, so basically he has to eat because the kids are starving at like 515. At their age right now, they're just like, ready for food as soon as they get back from daycare. And I would love for us all to eat together. And that is like, my goal when they get a little bit older, to be able to all sit together, have dinner together and talk as a family.

Taylor Berger [00:24:14]:But right now we're not quite there. So I think the intimidating thing for me is like, I pick the kids up, we get back, they're immediately hungry. I am already picking them up at like 04:00 so I already feel like I had to leave work early and so I don't want to leave, stop working even earlier to be able to make the food before I go pick them up. And then. So I'm trying to make the food as fast as I can. As they're over there screaming and trying to give them snacks, and the snacks ruin their appetite and they don't really eat. I can't quite figure out a good way of timing. I guess I could do prep work again.

Tiffany Sauder [00:24:49]:I hate making food. Okay. I think this dinner as a family thing, I also have a very romanticized picture of the fact that we are going to sit down as a family. And I really love that when we do, when they're little, you don't because everybody's hungry at a different time when they're toddlers, you don't because they have a six minute attention span and you'd like to take 16 minutes. Maybe in elementary you guys will be able to pull it off. So what I would encourage you to do on that front is to figure out how many nights a week do you want to sit down. It might just be Friday and Sunday, like two. And that is your goal.

Tiffany Sauder [00:25:28]:Like, hey, we want to be sure the kids understand what this looks like. This is something that we really want to shoot for. I don't want to sort of make myself feel guilty. This craziness every night. I would just relieve myself of that. And so decide what nights we're going to sit down as a family. And maybe there's like a different place that you eat and there's like a cue to the kids that this is dining room, or if you put a place mat out or like something that gives them some visual cue that we're going to sit down together. Everybody's going to sit in their seat until we ring this bell or like some type of a ceremony around it that gives them a cue that this is a different kind of a meal for us.

Tiffany Sauder [00:26:05]:I asked my mom, how often did we sit down. I feel like it was, like, all the time, and she was like, it solidly wasn't. But my dad worked late, and he was an entrepreneur, and then he was a farmer when I was really young. There is no way we sat down as a family for dinner every single night. There's no way we did, but I remember it that way. So what's one thing of, like, hey, we want to instill this, and this is what it looks like, and they do need visual cues and just contain it so that you're not always feeling like, this is crazy, and I feel bad about it. Okay. What I would do on the kid thing, because it's a little similar.

Tiffany Sauder [00:26:36]:When the kids get home from school, they're all starving. Kids eat what they see, and so I would make plates. Are they picky eaters?

Taylor Berger [00:26:45]:You said Soren is really picky, but he has his select things that he will always eat. So he'll eat, but I know what he'll eat.

Tiffany Sauder [00:26:55]:So what I noticed in my kids is that if I don't have anything for them to eat after school, they naturally go to the pantry and pick up granola bars and chips and that kind of stuff because it's easy and they can visually see it. And so I always now have fruits and vegetables set out. My mom is amazing at this. She makes faces out of fruits and vegetables. New bananas are the eyes, a carrot for the nose, and, like, eight grapes cut in half with a smiley face.

Taylor Berger [00:27:19]:Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:19]:And here there's, like, a little marshmallow on the eyeball.

Taylor Berger [00:27:23]:You got to have the sweet in there for sure, but you could do.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:26]:That in less than four minutes before you left to go get them. Have a plate that has some character that they love on the plate. Have that ready. So when you walk in the door, they literally walk right there, and their fruits and vegetables are ready and make it look fun. She would buy, like, little umbrellas, those little toothpick things that have a little spurs on the top. Like, they're silly stuff. She's always very good at that. And kids, they eat visually like we do.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:52]:And so I would do that. I would have it ready. They all just walk in. They eat their fruits and vegetables, and then that gives you probably six minutes. I would put on some music.

Taylor Berger [00:28:01]:Yeah. I usually do something to, like, I don't like to put on the tv, but I put on music. And, like, put out puzzles and stuff, like, trying to keep them entertained while I'm frantically cooking.

Tiffany Sauder [00:28:11]:Soren might be okay, but my kids love to eat fruit and vegetables with toothpicks. Probably old. Like, it just feels fun.

Taylor Berger [00:28:18]:Roland would love that. She has, like, surgical hands. She would actually probably be better than.

Tiffany Sauder [00:28:23]:Yeah, they love it. And the ones with the little, again, like, the little frilly flags on the top of them, they just think it's a ball. So I would make that kind of. You could prep that very quickly, and then you're probably throwing in, like, a little rotisserie chicken and a bag of microwave rice. What do they usually eat for dinner?

Taylor Berger [00:28:42]:Well, usually Rowan will eat anything, so she'll usually eat what we're eating. So she'll eat anything like pasta, mexican, even if it's spicy, she'll eat, like, chorizo. Soren, if it looks weird, he doesn't eat it. And if it looks anywhere, off. If I make pancakes, he's like one of those kids where it gets, like, a bubble in it. He's like, I can't eat this. This is disgusting. I can't even look at it.

Taylor Berger [00:29:05]:So he's harder. So his default is, like, Mac and cheese, grilled cheese, basically carbs and dairy, yogurt. That's it. He will not eat protein. So a lot of times, we'll give him, like, the chibani protein added shakes, because he'll eat that at this age, because it's really hard for him to get any kind of protein. He doesn't even really like peanut butter sandwiches. I'm like, what? Picky kid doesn't like peanut butter sandwiches? But I think it could be even a guilt thing on my part where maybe I just have to accept the fact that it is okay if majority of the time, besides those special times, like you said, if we do, like, two nights a week where it is a family dinner and we're trying to all sit together, if it is a grilled cheese or Mac and cheese, then I guess that's okay. But that doesn't also then solve the issue of, like, okay, make them their dinner after I've done their snacks, before I go pick them up, then I make their dinner as we're getting ready.

Taylor Berger [00:30:03]:Then I have to make Eric and I dinner, or I just don't eat. That's kind of the past couple of weeks, it's been like, okay, I'll have a piece of bread with a turkey stick or something. Whatever I can find in the fridge is, like, what? I'll eat.

Tiffany Sauder [00:30:15]:Like, horrible are you an Eric picky eaters?

Taylor Berger [00:30:18]:I'm not a picky eater. He is a picky eater, which makes it really hard. He doesn't like leftovers either, so that's like, I don't understand it. But he will never eat leftover. He found out it was cooked the day before. He won't eat it. Craziness. His whole family eats leftovers, though.

Taylor Berger [00:30:34]:I was like, maybe it's like a weird family thing that got passed down. No. I don't know if he got sick off of leftovers at a young age or something and just refused to have them. I'll never forget our first date. We went somewhere, and he was paying, and I didn't eat all of it, so I felt really bad, and I was like, oh, yeah, I'll take this to go. And he was like, no, you're not taking that in my car. You're going to have to leave it out. I'm surprised.

Taylor Berger [00:30:55]:I honestly continued dating him after that, but he made me leave it on the curb. That's why I can't do meal prep for us, because I can't prep it on Sunday. He won't eat it. What a nightmare.

Tiffany Sauder [00:31:05]:Does he care about food?

Taylor Berger [00:31:07]:He cares about the quality of food. He wants to make sure we're eating organic, whatever, that kind of stuff. Healthy food. But we always say he eats to live, I live to eat. We're opposites there. I love to eat. I love to go and have new experiences around food. He just purely eats to survive.

Tiffany Sauder [00:31:26]:Well, it's part of what I was asking. So if he were to have his ideal dinner each night, what would it consist of?

Taylor Berger [00:31:33]:Probably Mexican or pizza. Those are, like, his two things. And it has to be extremely spicy. Anything on it has to have, like, ghost peppers on it. Hot sauce could be a thing that maybe he doesn't like food because he can't taste anything. Who knows? But yeah, his is like, he likes bacon blts. Like, our go to meals are blts because I can throw the bacon in the oven pretty fairly easy. Like, that's an easy thing for us to do.

Taylor Berger [00:31:56]:And we have it down. Pasta, because Rowan loves pasta. And I can make his really spicy by adding, like, peppers and stuff and then keep ours kind of mild. And then basically Mexican is like our three, like, tacos, burritos. That's like our go to, and that's pretty much all I've seen. And pizza, like, if we order pizza or sometimes we make pizza.

Tiffany Sauder [00:32:18]:So one of the formulas for me that is really helpful is we live off of a lot of. We do a lot of bowls, which could maybe be a way for you to flex flavors and, like, do you want veggies? And he doesn't want veggies. I can tell you what I do there. So most of the time on the weekend, I will prep, like, you know, those glad big tupperwares. I think that's an eight cup tupperware. And I will chop vegetables into there. I'll do cucumbers, peppers, cabbage, cilantro. Heat some edamame, shred some carrots.

Tiffany Sauder [00:32:53]:Just literally chock it full of vegetables. Already prepped.

Taylor Berger [00:32:56]:Pea pods.

Tiffany Sauder [00:32:56]:I'll chop up maybe some basil, maybe some mint. So it's, like, fresh. And actually, they've learned to keep the cucumbers out because they get bad faster. But the rest of that stuff, if you put a paper towel in the bottom of it, which takes it moisture, that sucker will stay good for six days.

Taylor Berger [00:33:16]:Do you put all of the vegetables in one or, like, separate?

Tiffany Sauder [00:33:19]:I put them all together. I kind of, like, start out in rows, where it's like, here's cabbage, and here's green cabbage. Here's purple cabbage, here's carrots, here's peppers, here's edamame, here's cilantro. Like, kind of in rows. And then I work from that, and I'll use it in, like, three different ways. I'll make a salad. So sometimes I'll just pull it all out. I'll get some rotisserie chicken, a can of tuna, and then sauce it up.

Tiffany Sauder [00:33:42]:So I could just use it as salad. And I'll use, like, some sriracha mayo. I'll throw some lemon juice and business, I don't know. I can put it into tortilla and make it into a wrap. So again, tortilla, all my veggies, some protein, some sauce, roll it up. I have a complete meal, or I can make it into a bowl. So I'll use those rice packets, like, from costco, the garlic and whatever, mixed grilled ones. They're delicious.

Taylor Berger [00:34:07]:They're so good.

Tiffany Sauder [00:34:08]:No, sheet rices are amazing too. The, like, single serve guys. I'll put grain on the bottom. I'll put a bunch of those veggies and then some protein on top and toss it up. So then the only thing you're really tasked with, again, pick your. If you want a carb that day, pick up wrap or a grain, which is you're 90 seconds away from that being done. And then your protein. You could crock pot, some chicken on the weekend.

Tiffany Sauder [00:34:31]:You could just grab a rotisserie chicken and chop it up. And I don't like cold chicken, so I have to saute. It could use a can of tuna. Or the smoked pork from Costco is amazing in the microwave. That's be how you could get yourself something that I need. Flavor, color, and crunch. Those are the things I need to feel satisfied. So the flavor comes from the sauce, the color comes from.

Tiffany Sauder [00:34:53]:I mean, it's like purple and green, and I just need that vibrancy. And the fresh herbs are like life to me. And it's like all this volume of food, which is a thing for me because I also love to eat, like, all this crunchy vegetables. Makes me feel like I'm doing something good for myself. I kind of want to time myself. I think in four minutes, I could get myself something on the plate that tastes good, and you could serve at a restaurant.

Taylor Berger [00:35:14]:I think you'd be okay if I did the vegetables, pre chopped them, because that's not leftovers. So I think I could definitely do. I love that idea of chopping the vegetables. That would save a whole bunch of time and then just keeping maybe whatever I make, like, the protein, making that fresh. I think that's the biggest thing, at least for Eric and I, specifically making that the day of just, like, sauteing it or heating it up on the skillet, I think that would make actually a huge difference. Even more so, I wonder. I've seen on TikTok and Instagram, I'm also a really bad chopper. I could do it, but it's tedious for me too.

Taylor Berger [00:35:51]:But I've seen those things where it's like the grates where you just push down and it chops them into fine little buying one of those and just throwing peppers, like you said, and a whole bunch of vegetables in there that would be done in like, 2 seconds. It's a time thing for me. I'm a perfectionist, so I want to sit there and chop everything perfectly. And it just is so draining to me. So I think finding efficiencies there would help tremendously during the week.

Tiffany Sauder [00:36:17]:The first time you do it will probably take you 40 minutes on the weekend. But even not having to get, like, I think about wanting a salad, it's like, I don't want to get nine vegetables out of that. I mean, I would, like, turn around, and there would be everything in my fridge was on my countertop. It would make me angry. So that was how I kind of got here. I was like, I love it when I eat a bunch of veggies. And we just eat so much more vegetables and stuff because they're already cut. They're out so easy.

Tiffany Sauder [00:36:42]:I just pull it out, shove it in something, and I feel so good. If I were you, I would think about protein in a formula. I would do one week. Maybe it's Monday, maybe Sunday night you put two chicken breasts and some sauce in your crock pot in the fridge. Monday morning you pull it out of your fridge and put it in the actual crock pot like you're not reheating it. It hasn't been cooked yet. But that way you poured your sauce, two chicken breasts. You know, that's tonight's night.

Tiffany Sauder [00:37:10]:I always have a crock pot night. And Sunday night you prep it in so that you don't have to even throw away a bottle of sauce. So I would have a crock pot day. I'm going to call it like a heat and eat day. So, like Evans or Amy Lou, there's like these really great high protein, like, meatballs and chicken patties. And they're low fat, high protein stuff that you want to eat already has flavor in it. I would do a heat and eat night. Tuesday heat and eat Wednesday is maybe bacon night.

Tiffany Sauder [00:37:37]:Maybe like literally Wednesday is always bacon night.

Taylor Berger [00:37:40]:Yeah, I would love that BLT Wednesdays.

Tiffany Sauder [00:37:42]:Because everybody loves know. And so in most of those, like Gilbert's, Amy Lou and Kevin's, do you know those? They're literally like one sausage peel off. If you're not going to eat leftovers, it doesn't come in a three pound thing.

Taylor Berger [00:38:00]:You know what I mean? It could be if I wanted like a fourth night of just. And this kind of goes with the heat and eat idea. But we do go to Trader Joe's a lot, too. So getting even just one of those little kind of premade ish things is like, I just have to throw this in. Throw this in. The sauce is already in there. I feel like you should do like a calendar or like a food calendar or something to print off your go to. I know, because I know your family is so good at sauces.

Taylor Berger [00:38:31]:Even that sauce that we always have on the haystacks, the best thing. Just like having a few sauces ready to go that give it flavor that I don't have to worry about. I think the thing, too, is at one point, this is before kids, Eric and I did the fresh boxes or whatever. It was great in theory, but it was still like, it took us like 45 minutes of just us, too, minus not having to watch or entertain a kid. Just putting it all together. And so I liked the idea of that. Something that just is like a formula or like a go to. This is what I need to do because I don't find any joy in thinking about what I'm going to cook.

Taylor Berger [00:39:08]:And the actual process of cooking, I don't like it. So it's like, whatever can make it still taste good and be really easy and quick is like what's going to be for me. So I think that would be perfect. I might have to give that a try for sure.

Tiffany Sauder [00:39:21]:I like it. It's good. Is this helpful?

Taylor Berger [00:39:25]:Yes, very helpful. Actually, I'm kind of sad that we're leaving for Florida because I was like, okay, I want to go to the grocery store on Saturday. I'm going to give this a try next week, but we're going to be gone all next week. But the next week I definitely want to try. Give some of this a try. Definitely. The prepping the vegetables ahead of time, I think that's going to be game changer. I don't know.

Taylor Berger [00:39:42]:In my mind, I just thought I can't prep anything because he won't eat leftovers, so it'll go to waste, but that will not be an issue. And then just getting the grains already ready to go, heat that up in the microwave or on the skillet, that'll be way simpler than what I think I've been trying to do.

Tiffany Sauder [00:40:01]:There's this like twelve cousins brand. They have it at Trader Joe's, but I've also seen it like it, but it's got creole, caribbean, and latin american recipes. I am a lot of times having to eat really fast because running kids and so this dozen cousins has this flavor that's like, oh, this has been cooking all day long. And then I put my cheesy veggies on it. I mean, just like I've already chopped them. And then aside from rotisserie chicken, and then I have something that has a lot of flavor or a flavor profile that I can't easily make myself. That's another brand that I'm real big on.

Taylor Berger [00:40:36]:I'll definitely keep an eye out for that because that's the thing too, is I do enjoy good food. It's like, so if it could taste really good but be done, and half the time of it would be if I actually was making. Putting all the ingredients together. That's crucial.

Tiffany Sauder [00:40:51]:Give yourself four weeks to get into a new system. Don't get bugged with yourself if it doesn't go right the first time because you're finding a new habit. How many veggies? We didn't get through all of them eating this huge salad for lunch because it's like, I got to get through them starting fresh next week.

Taylor Berger [00:41:06]:No, that's actually amazing because I work from home, and so I make myself, like, I have everything I make for my salads that I do all on Monday, and then I'm okay eating leftovers. So I put it all in little individual things, and then that's my salad. I make pretty much the whole week. But it would be awesome to have extra vegetables that I can mix it up a little bit more. Right now, I'm like, it's the same salad I have Monday through Friday because it's already prepped for me because I don't care about that stuff. And no one else in the family is going to eat kale or whatever, but it would be great to have all those, to kind of give it a little bit of variety, not only for dinners, but for my lunches as I eat them at home would be great for me.

Tiffany Sauder [00:41:46]:Do you buy fresh herbs very often, like, cilantro, basil, mint?

Taylor Berger [00:41:50]:Cilantro, for sure.

Tiffany Sauder [00:41:52]:Probably not.

Taylor Berger [00:41:53]:Anything else? I've bought, like, thyme and all this stuff, and it just sits and goes bad in my fridge, but probably because I don't know what to do with it.

Tiffany Sauder [00:41:59]:Well, the leafy ones, like cilantro, basil, mint, I feel like those just wake up my food so much. You can just add them to salads, add them to wraps, add them on bowls. Try that, too. Just as a way to get, like, a fresh palate. I just find it wakes stuff up where I'm like, oh, it was so good. It's like. It's just because it had mint on it and some lemon.

Taylor Berger [00:42:20]:True. Just, like, makes the flavors pop, makes it feel like you ate it at a restaurant, not that you made it.

Tiffany Sauder [00:42:24]:Yeah, it feels fresh.

Taylor Berger [00:42:27]:What you're saying I should do is I should make leftovers. He won't know about it. Put some cilantro or basil or mint on it to make it taste fresh, and he won't have any idea. And then my problem would be solved.

Tiffany Sauder [00:42:39]:I think your crock pot didn't end up being a good friend. I think if you could prep your crock pot the night before, two chicken breasts or a pork tenderloin, pull it out of the fridge, and you're just turning it on in the morning.

Taylor Berger [00:42:49]:Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:42:50]:That is, like, game changer. Three minutes of work on the day of.

Taylor Berger [00:42:55]:I love that. Especially. I like the idea of doing it like prepping on Sunday and doing it Monday because Mondays I feel like inevitably I feel like I go into the week feeling prepared but it's the most chaotic. So like just having something going in the crock pot all day that I don't have to have that added stress on a Monday of like okay, now what am I going to make for dinner? I feel like it'll help the week start a little bit easier like getting into it.

Tiffany Sauder [00:43:17]:Awesome. Well let me know how it goes. Taylor, thanks for jumping.

Tiffany Sauder [00:43:23]:Thank you for joining me on another episode of Scared Confident. Until next time, keep telling fear you will not decide what happens in my life. I will. If you want to get the inside scoop, sign up for my newsletter. We decided to make content for you instead of social media algorithms. The link is waiting for you in show notes or you can head over to Tiffany stouter.com. Thanks for listening.

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