Know yourself, accept yourself and impact the world

Tiffany Sauder: There is a peacefulness that comes with knowing yourself. I think it's one of the coolest surprises about getting older is that you suddenly kind of start to realize your ability to discern the difference between those things that can grow and change about you and those things that are hardwired like in your DNA, in the way that you were built and discerning that is so helpful in understanding the impact that you can have in the world where you're useful, how you can help others grow. I think the coolest thing about getting older is just this understanding of who you are and the peacefulness of life,  this is who I am and these are my gifts and these are my talents, and this is why I was put on this earth and this is.

What I have to give. And also these are the buckets of things that I'm never gonna be exceptional at and I'm never gonna be able to quickly discern and I'm never gonna have excellence in these areas.  it's  amazing. and as I think about this journey we've been on over the last couple weeks of.

Confronting your thing. There's this great gift on the backside of it, of self-acceptance and I know that fear is always going to be a thing that wants to take hold of my mind and take hold of my body and take hold of my decisions. I know that will always be there. There will always be a seedling, but.

That seedling gets less and less water. As I get stronger in my tools of not feeding it, that seedling gets deeper and deeper and deeper and harder and harder for it to grow as I have more evidence that my talents have purpose in the world and I have more evidence that people's support and love me and as I speak about.

how that had a lot of control over my mind and others say, oh my word, me too. And it normalizes it. Like that seed gets less and less sunlight, less and less nutrition, less and less ability for it to grow. But I know it's always gonna be there. Like I know it's part of who I am, but I also have learned tools of how to make sure that that seed gets very little nutrition and ability to grow.

I was cleaning out my home office. It turned into like the world's largest, junk pile during covid. And so a like six months ago, I like went on a total cleaning [00:03:00] rampage and was going through it and organizing all the stuff. And all my old journals, like from my childhood were in there.

And so I was like, skip reading through the middle school and high school and college versions in particular. And I was so sad to see. One of the themes that was in there was this like beating myself up over and over and over again that I wasn't disciplined. how it looked was how would have like a workout schedule and it was like, Monday, I'm gonna run this many miles Tuesday, this many miles rest on Wednesday, this many miles on Thursday.

You kind of get the idea and I'm gonna like, uh, lift weights on Friday and then Monday I'm gonna do this, and Saturday I'm gonna do this. Like specifically what day, what thing was gonna happen? That was my plan. And when the plan didn't work or I didn't comply with it a hundred percent, I would beat myself up mentally.

Like, you're not disciplined. You can't do this. You're not healthy. Oh my word, you're failing like this total. I. Cycle inside of my head would just start spinning of like, I'll never be able to do this. And I look back at that 19 year old version of myself and be like, oh, my word I, I wish I could tell you that today at 42 years old, every single time I make a plan like that where Monday, this is gonna happen.

Tuesdays, this is gonna happen Wednesdays, this is gonna happen. I fail 100% of the time. And so I have learned I work much better in like a system. So for example, this week I'm gonna move my body 15 miles. That can be five mornings, I run three miles. It can be three mornings, I run five miles, could be Saturday, I do 10 miles, and Sunday I walk five.

Like couldn't be any combination of any number of miles depending on what happens, what kid is sick, et cetera. But I know that that framework is much more successful for how I'm wired. I'm a creative solver. I'm able to be very present. I reprioritize things very quickly. for good or for bad, do not hold my own schedule really, really tightly.

I'm very flexible and there's a lot of awesome things that come with that. And then also, there's some liabilities that come with that. I know that my giftings of flexibility, creative solving, being present, all of that

it's detrimental to my ability to be able to perfectly execute a workout plan. And so if I can put a workout plan together that allows for flexibility, creativity, ability to be present. I'm gonna be successful every single time.

When we know ourselves, when we have self-acceptance and we're like, oh, I'm not judging it, it doesn't make me bad, I was, Laughing with one of my colleagues and said, I have so many friends that are ones on the Enneagram numbers, I'm a three and ones are perfectionists.

And so when they say they're gonna do something, they do it a hundred percent of the time. I love highly accountable people. I love highly disciplined people. I love people who do I. Insane things [00:06:00] over a long period of time. I think those people are fascinating, but I am not those people. But because I think they're interesting, because I think that's fascinating because I'm drawn to that.

There's a long season of my life. I tried to make myself into that. I'm not that, but I love those people and I can learn from those people. I can take tips from those people, but to say to myself, I'm gonna actually be able to live in that, what I would say, rigidity. Makes me melt. I don't like what that does to me.

It makes me feel caged. It makes me wanna break rules. It makes me feel terrible inside. So understanding this, the self-acceptance is such a critical part to understanding who you are and how it is that you can change the world and the impact that you were meant to make.

The other thing I'll speak to on this, like, I guess sense of knowing yourself, particularly as it relates to this framing that we're talking through on the podcast right now with Kyler taking over as president and stepping into this role is we're really very different people.

We're very different leaders. We have very different styles. We have different ways that we communicate. We had different times that we communicate. we are very, very, different, but it's the same about us as our values. I think the organization would tell you they felt very little change in leadership as it related to the values that Kyler and I both hold very dearly.

But the way that we lead is incredibly different. And knowing how to help Kyler step. Authentically into who he is as a leader and the way that is most going to be natural and sustainable for him that has been.

As intentional a process as anything that we've done and making sure he didn't feel like he had to lead like me. he can't lead like me. I can't lead like him. And one of us is not a better leader than the other one. We are just different. And so, I guess that's just a point of awareness for me that when you're going through a leadership transition, a change of any kind, if both of you have this gift of.

Understanding who you are, embracing this sort of self-acceptance of like,this is the way I am gonna be most in my superpower. Then thread the needle by connecting those two things, but don't try to make one like the other. It doesn't work that way.

I am cheering you on in your journey of self-acceptance, of your mind, being able to look at the things that are not. Perfect about you and say, I'm on a journey there, or it's not in my makeup to be excellent in that area. And so how can I make progress? I use the analogy of health and fitness. I can still make progress on my health without.

Meeting a deadline every single day or recording my macros every single day, those things don't work for me. And that doesn't mean I can't be successful in, strength and vitality and having a healthy life. I just need different tools. And so I'm hopeful. I'm excited for you. I hope you'll continue to work towards this journey of self-acceptance, of knowing who you are, of seeing yourself.

In a loving and excited way and your gifts and giving grace and compassion for yourself in areas where you're still a work in process. Cause we all are.

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