Lessons in living from Mom

Tiffany Sauder [00:00:00]:Hey, it's Tiffany. If you've been listening to the show for a while and find yourself thinking, geez, I wish there was more good news. You can sign up for my newsletter. It's filled with my favorite products, recipes, tips, and stories to help encourage you as you build your life of and the link is waiting for you in show notes. See you there.

Wendy Schwab [00:00:18]:If I was talking to myself looking into the window back at Wendy, I said, watch your budget. Don't drive so fast. Take care of the things that can't be fixed in an hour or two. Your health, your marriage, your spiritual walk, your friendships. You can't reverse health issues of years of neglect or a marriage that was put on the back burner, or your walk with the Lord. While he is always merciful, you miss out on walking with his wisdom and you can't make old friends.

Tiffany Sauder [00:00:44]:I'm a small town kid born with a big city spirit. I choose to play a lot of awesome roles in life. Mom, wife, entrepreneur, CEO, board member, investor, and mentor. 17 years ago, I founded a marketing consultancy and ever since, my husband, junior, and I have been building our careers and our family on the exact same timeline. Yep, that means four kids, three businesses, two careers, all building towards one life we love. When I discovered I could purposefully embrace all of these ands in my life, it unlocked my world. And I want that for you, too. Im Tiffany Sauder and this is Scared Confident.

Tiffany Sauder [00:01:26]:This week is a special episode because it's my mom. Her name is Wendy. And as we, like, come up on Mother's Day, I thought it would be cool for me at least to have my mom on the podcast. And she's always just sharing these moments of wisdom with us. And we love to kind of look back and talk about what life looked like when she was raising us. And so I asked her to come on and talk about what does a life of and look like when you're in this season of life. She and my dad are in their sixties. They've got a bunch of grandkids.

Tiffany Sauder [00:01:57]:And I think we can wrongly fall into the trap that later we're going to have time for our dreams. Later we're going to have time to start something new. Later is when we'll do our life of and and my mom and dad have always done a good job of doing it. Now, I think that that's probably part of where I get my life of and spirit. But she talks candidly about what it's like to be in this season where she's still caring for her own mother, and we have lots of us that need her time. So if you're in this season of life that my mom and dad are in, I think this will be an awesome episode where you get some tricks and tips for how to keep your mindset as you go through this season and a reminder that there's never a perfect time to do anything. So thanks for listening in on this episode with my mom, Wendy Schwab. Okay, so Mother's Day is coming up, and so I thought, what a great time to have my mom on the pod.

Tiffany Sauder [00:02:56]:We take walks a lot, and mom is always good at, like, texting us little words of encouragement. So I thought this would be a great time for you to share some of the things that you tell us as kids and grandkids and share that with my listeners. But also, you're at, like, a life stage ahead, obviously, or two of me. And I know some people listening are not only in my stage of life where I've got a bunch of little kids that I'm running to everywhere and everywhere from Sunday. And so you kind of sharing what does the life of and look like in your season of life? Because it's not just when you're having kids. Had kids. I'm out of that. Everybody, let's be clear.

Tiffany Sauder [00:03:34]:And this is our second take because mom was clearing her throat a lot. So I said, we can't have that as a daughter. We're just gonna be real about it. We're gonna keep it loose and keep it real. Mama Bear. And I was joking earlier. Business Wendy came today. She has a blazer on.

Tiffany Sauder [00:03:52]:We have cooking Wendy. We have Nana Wendy, and we have business Wendy. So business Wendy and the podcast studio, nature Wendy. Yeah, nature Wendy. That's right. She loves butterflies. Okay, so I hear too often that people are going to wait until the next stage of life to, like, add an and start a project, take a risk, do a thing. And I have seen and I feel like I have, like, a front row seat to you and dad's life.

Tiffany Sauder [00:04:18]:You're in your sixties, I'm in my forties. That, like, there is no perfect stage. There's not this moment where life is just clear of any obstacles. You have all the time in the world that you want. At least if you're gonna do this.

Wendy Schwab [00:04:32]:Stage in the way that you and.

Tiffany Sauder [00:04:33]:Dad have chosen, maybe do a quick backdrop of, like, just what the lay of the land is in your world so that people who don't know our family know that.

Wendy Schwab [00:04:40]:Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:04:41]:She's, like, stress because you cleared her throat. Yeah. We're just gonna bring him in on the joke.

Wendy Schwab [00:04:45]:She's like, I think I have some drainage.

Tiffany Sauder [00:04:47]:No, I didn't say that.

Wendy Schwab [00:04:48]:I said, I think I'm gonna cold.

Tiffany Sauder [00:04:49]:Yeah. So we're bringing you in on the joke if mom has to clear her throat. That's the problem.

Wendy Schwab [00:04:55]:Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:04:56]:We love you, and we're laughing with you. Not at you.

Wendy Schwab [00:04:59]:Always.

Tiffany Sauder [00:05:00]:Okay. Lay the land.

Wendy Schwab [00:05:01]:Okay. So we have four kids. You're all married, and your two brothers are in Indianapolis, which is about an hour and 15 minutes from me in John. And then I have a daughter in her husband and five kids that live in Arizona. My mom is 93, the queen of the bunch, and she is at a rest home in Francisville, so she's, like, half hour north of me. I have you and three kids an hour and 15 minutes south of me. And then just my own little southwest private car that goes out west.

Tiffany Sauder [00:05:37]:Yeah. The airplane that she takes to go see the sister.

Wendy Schwab [00:05:40]:That's right.

Tiffany Sauder [00:05:40]:So there's 16 grandkids, ages 15 to 18 months.

Wendy Schwab [00:05:44]:18 months. Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:05:45]:A lot of kids, a lot of people. And you are the sandwich. Yeah. And some cousins that we claim as brothers. Yeah. And sisters. This, like, sandwich generation that they talk about is what you're living in right now, where your kids need you. Your grandkids want you incessantly, perpetually, always.

Tiffany Sauder [00:06:02]:There is no ending train. And then your mom is still living, and you're the only daughter. And the primary. Not the primary caretaker, but primary decision maker. And what's going on there. Yeah. Big responsibility. How have you thought about what you do now? What you say yes to what ands you add into your life? And maybe there are seasons where things that made sense, you have to take those out of your life because they don't make sense as the number of people grow.

Tiffany Sauder [00:06:30]:And I always joke the number of gifts that you have to buy in a year is, like, mind boggling. Think about it. 16 grandkids, 16 birthdays, 16 Easter baskets, 16, like, stockings. Plus us kids don't leave us out. And our anniversary, like, it is insanity that itself would be a full time job. We don't expect it. But you're always good about being very thoughtful, so wild to me. Okay, so how do you think about that? And in this season, as you're, like, serving a lot of different people, what does and look like at this stage of your life?

Wendy Schwab [00:07:06]:Yeah. One of the sweetnesses of being in your sixties. So we had our kids young. By 29, we had four children. So at 65, I feel like, we're kind of on the young age of having that many grandkids and being able to travel with you all and do really fun things with just being active has been really a blessing. We really enjoy that. So one of the things I feel like to look forward to in your sixties is we have evenings where we don't have to put kids to bed, and I still jump in the car when there's no diaper bags. There's no, like, all the things that you have to do, you have to pack, like, all your bags for your little ones to go to practice.

Wendy Schwab [00:07:47]:And, like, there's a lot of activities that you do now that it's just constant every day and every night and every morning. So we have the flexibility at my age to, like, have a little bit more of that space, which is, like, really, really precious. And we value that. John and I really value that and use that time to, like, really take some time to talk or just we value our rest and taking care of us, ourselves and staying active. I think, Tiffany, that I laughingly told you the other day when you said you were busy, I said you're just training for your sixties. There is a busyness to the sixties that's really ongoing from what we started, I think, when you were little. So priority has always been that we have a strong family and family values, and our church is really important. So when you love your child, you love what your child brings in.

Wendy Schwab [00:08:38]:So we love your junior, we love each one of our kids spouses, and we love your kids. So it's just an extension of that. And what your values are, like, what made your, the fabric of what you call a rich life. A rich life in our season and stage. One of the things I feel like we have to guard against is still having things that fill us and that we're just not always pouring out. So I'm very intentional about, like, not just answering things.

Tiffany Sauder [00:09:04]:Like, what's an example?

Wendy Schwab [00:09:05]:So it can be just fulfilling requests, whether it's small group requests or somebody texts you for this or text or emails or just like a constant, like, answering back, but to continue to grow and to, like, not just be answering, but allow time when you're sitting. I love to sit in our hearth room and read some new books, or I just got done with reading a book on forgiveness. It just really challenged me. A book on the greatest thing in the world. It was a study on love and just like, doing those things that can really make my mind grow and like, my heart grow and then also learning new things I'm in a sourdough frenzy right now. Love to bake.

Tiffany Sauder [00:09:47]:That's true.

Wendy Schwab [00:09:48]:And learning that. And also, my degree is in nursing, but I've always had, like, a bent toward creativeness. So learning more about interior design and being willing to, like, put myself out there to pour into our community with that. When I got the building downtown and converted into a co working space, there were times when I looked at it, and I was like, what did I do? This is, like, such a big project, you know, and the roof was falling in, and there was no insulation. And, like, I had to learn things about h vac, and, like, when the windows were bad in the basement, it was flooding. Just figuring all that stuff out, that is. Was way beyond me. And then once you figure it out, once you do it, it sets you up.

Wendy Schwab [00:10:32]:I was more confident for other things. So when I did bricks, it's downtown right in the middle of Remington. And John and I haven't really poured a lot into our community. We love it. We just have this feeling that wherever you are, if you can just enhance that somehow. So, from that, I was able to partner with the town and help in some other design work for the town hall, working with the designers there. And just, like, one thing leads to another thing, just because you're not afraid. And then the other thing I had to work on myself is to recognize your talent.

Wendy Schwab [00:11:08]:Like, I feel like sometimes I diminish what I do. Like, oh, that's, like, a. Not a big deal, but, like, when you recognize it and, you know, okay, this is something that God gave me this talent to do, then it gives you the courage to step forward and be, like, helpful for other people, and then that's filling too.

Tiffany Sauder [00:11:26]:Like, that's been a journey for you.

Wendy Schwab [00:11:27]:It has.

Tiffany Sauder [00:11:28]:As an adult, even.

Wendy Schwab [00:11:29]:Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder [00:11:30]:Like, since we've been gone.

Wendy Schwab [00:11:31]:Yeah, yeah.

Tiffany Sauder [00:11:32]:Can you want to speak to that at all?

Wendy Schwab [00:11:34]:Yeah, I think it's. I don't know if it's just my journey or if it's my age group.

Tiffany Sauder [00:11:38]:I think it's your age group, because I think my generation, even like, my daughters more. So this idea of women being very empowered is very much a metanarrative right now. And I think my generation coming out of college, that was starting to become a thing of, like, hey, look, you can go do things on your own, and the world's not gonna eat you. But I think your generation, it was not that case, necessarily. And so this idea of claiming and owning and seeing yourself in a light that is like, no, I have gifts to offer and I want to do that freely. Me sitting behind a door doesn't serve anybody, you or the rest of the world.

Wendy Schwab [00:12:18]:I have actually thought about that because my mom, she went to Indiana business school. She was very bright. She was, like, very good at, like, helping my dad with. He was a minister and very successful at leading people. I would say his love was people and bringing people to Christ and just, like, loving people. He was really good at that, in doing that. He was also very a big farmer. So mom was really a great partner for him with, like, helping with the finances and a lot of that part.

Wendy Schwab [00:12:46]:So I feel like I had a good role model, and mom always encouraged me to go to nurses training when I wanted to. And just, like, there was a lot of support there that I have. So when I look back, I think that there was always a worry that a woman would get hurt. I have four brothers, two older and two younger, no sisters. And I felt like my parents were, I would say, appropriately protective of me. I think they knew what they knew, and they did the best that they could for me. And I think in that protection, maybe in that generation, they saw so much hurt. They went through the depression.

Wendy Schwab [00:13:17]:They had siblings that went off to the war. Mom had an older sibling that came back not the same. You know, they saw a lot of things that were different than what we've seen. So they reacted in response to risk differently. Yes, they did. And then after the depression, just like, the way that they made money and, like, the security of making money, I think the way that they saw that was different. And so then, obviously, they raised us a little bit different, so they knew what they knew. I always loved to do things.

Wendy Schwab [00:13:46]:We farmed when we got married, and I was as active as I could be on the farm, worked up as a nurse up until you were born, and then helped with dispatching on the farm because things were so different living in a rural area, I had that, like, desire to do things, so I had to, like, manage it in what was available to me. So we didn't have daycare, so I did things that I could do with being at home. So I had made barrettes. I put them into, like, little boutiques. I sewed all the time, so I would make wedding dresses or bridesmaid dresses. Stop that. When there was, like, eight bridesmaids. But just like all the things that you do at that age and that season for what's available to you, and then daycare wasn't really a thing that was like any rural, so much available.

Wendy Schwab [00:14:32]:So we just did what you did, and I think that maybe not having the camaraderie of, like, what you would have now with, like, working women where you can, like, still have that same goals as I have, or they're the same. I love my family. I want my family, my kids to grow up good people. I want them to learn discipline, all those good things, to learn to love Jesus. I mean, all of that stuff can be the same. It just looks different at different generations. Your question? Like, I was constantly diminishing, and I think this maybe is a little personality, too, what my gifts were. And so then I was afraid to use them.

Wendy Schwab [00:15:07]:So I think that doing bricks and, like, just doing something that was really hard, that actually could have lost a lot of money, and it was a risk, and being willing to be like, I'm gonna do it, and just, I'm gonna work really hard at it, and then working through the obstacles, literally, bit by bit. And then I think John was really good for me, too, because I would lean on him a lot, and I think that I learned to do that even as a kid. I could always lean on my brothers or clean my dad or. We were married young, so I'd lean on John. It was really good for him to say, no, figure it out. Just go figure it out. So now I tell myself that, and I think that's the key, you know? Figure it out. You got a brain, and if you make a mistake, it's not the end of the world.

Wendy Schwab [00:15:48]:I think it's fine.

Tiffany Sauder [00:15:49]:I see a difference in you in, like, the last three to five years, in that.

Wendy Schwab [00:15:52]:Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder [00:15:53]:Like, you being like, no, I'm a whole entity. I can rebrand. I can call people. I can do the thing, because, yeah, I feel like that independence in me was more natural.

Wendy Schwab [00:16:03]:Yes. That's why I said nature. I think nature.

Tiffany Sauder [00:16:06]:I think some of its environmental, too.

Wendy Schwab [00:16:07]:Yeah, I think it's both.

Tiffany Sauder [00:16:09]:I do think I grew up. Dad was more like, good luck with yourself. You know? More than your dad was to you.

Wendy Schwab [00:16:15]:Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:16:16]:Like, my dad is very like, you'll be fine.

Wendy Schwab [00:16:19]:Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder [00:16:20]:He won't get eaten. There are no alligators. There's no alligators even. There might be an alligator.

Wendy Schwab [00:16:24]:There might be behind his back. I'd be like, yes, there was.

Tiffany Sauder [00:16:28]:Huh? Turn two. Yeah, totally. There might be an alligator. So I think that's interesting. Cause I do think it's. I think there's different challenges in different generations among a myriad of different topics. But I think this part of people who are in your stage of life feeling like, I can explore my talents. I don't have to go into retirement, whatever that means to you.

Tiffany Sauder [00:16:49]:I think that's actually something maybe we'll spend a second talking about because you and dad, I think, have decided to do retirement in a different way. I don't know if you would say we don't really say we are retired. It's not, doesn't look very retired. I don't know what that word means to you guys in your stage, but you guys don't, like, go somewhere for three months and kind of exit stage left you very much stay engaged in your communities and your families. I don't know, maybe share a few minutes on how you guys think about that, and then we'll go into the pieces of advice for my stage of life.

Wendy Schwab [00:17:22]:Yeah, I would say staying visiting and staying active and growing, like you said in the last, maybe you've noticed it in the last couple years, has been really good for our marriage, and it's been good, I think, in my relationships with my adult kids, too, because, like, you're more relatable. You also have things to do. Like, I'm so interested and always want to be there for you kids. But also I think it's been good for me to, like, continue to grow and for John to continue and not.

Tiffany Sauder [00:17:46]:Just watch our kids. Like, you'll say that, like, I love you, love being with your grandkids.

Wendy Schwab [00:17:50]:I say yes whenever I can.

Tiffany Sauder [00:17:51]:Yeah, you can. But you're like, I don't want to just be in your life. By watching your kids. You also want to, like, be in your life.

Wendy Schwab [00:17:58]:Yes.

Tiffany Sauder [00:17:58]:And I think that's actually, like, a good thing to say. I don't know that everybody finds the words for that.

Wendy Schwab [00:18:04]:Like, that.

Tiffany Sauder [00:18:05]:I don't want to just be the drop off.

Wendy Schwab [00:18:07]:Yeah. Because I love my kids. Yeah. And that's, like, important to, like, I always call it skin time. Like, with John, I'll say, hey, I feel like we haven't seen the kids. We need to go have some skin time, because unless you're holding your kids or if I see you and I hug you and there's always something that we laugh about. It's like that relationship that you have that is really important, that really maintains that family closeness. It's really important.

Wendy Schwab [00:18:32]:As far as retirement, we actually talk about it a lot. I feel like we have a hybrid that's been really good for us. So Christmas is really big around our house, you know, and so we don't do anything, like, in December and then in January and February is usually our time. And so we were able to take four really great trips, two out of the country, this in a matter of, like, six weeks. And I think that that's, like, kind of our form of, like, retirement, where we can go see a cousin in Costa Rica for a week and we can explore there. We were able to go with UNjr to Utah for a week. We were out with Brandi and Seth for a week in Arizona in my brother mood, Florida. Like, being able to, like, take that time and set it aside, and then if there are things that we need to do on a computer, we can.

Wendy Schwab [00:19:20]:It's, like, so great with the way the world is these days, but to us, that feels really exciting. And then we also really love to pour back into our businesses and even start new businesses. So if anybody needs umbrellas, call me. But I think that there's for us, for John and I, we do love to travel, but we haven't seen right now where just being away for three months feels good to us. We like being around you kids. We like being around the grandkids. Oh, my goodness, they change so much. And just six months in, the things that they're doing, the things that they're accomplishing, it's, like, so fun to be engaged with them.

Wendy Schwab [00:20:04]:So that's what our entire retirement is right now.

Tiffany Sauder [00:20:07]:Yeah, for sure. Okay, so I sent you this question ahead of time, but what this idea of kind of, like, calling back to your 43 year old self or one of the things that I think I had to work through is this, like, head trash of, I started having kids when you were done, so you were done with all four at 29, and I had my first at 29. And so this idea of, like, holy crap, I'm kind of already behind. I'm gonna be so much older when I'm at your season of life, does it have to look really different? And I'm like, you know, are my grandkids gonna be pushing me around in a wheelchair when they're eight years old? Like, it's crazy because there's, like, a lot of years, almost 20 years between when you had me and when I had Quincy, which is crazy. You start to almost, like, change the generations and how they look. We don't need to talk about that, really, except that that was a thing for me. Just being like, that was one of the first imprint on my life that looks so different than yours was me working full time outside of the home. And then, like, the second part was like, well, if I'm gonna be a mom, and mom was a mom.

Tiffany Sauder [00:21:09]:But then I was like, holy crap, I'm doing it at such a different age. Is like how it is that. I don't know, there's this. I think there's this thing with. I don't know. I think you either spend your adult life trying to redeem a crappy childhood or imagining that you're going to just repeat the one you liked. You know what I mean? And I was like, it's like a pretty good thing. So.

Tiffany Sauder [00:21:28]:Yeah, like, my life will probably look like this, but it starts to look differently. So anyways. Okay, so calling back to your younger self, do you want to say any words on that or do we?

Wendy Schwab [00:21:35]:Yeah, no, I think a lot of that is head trash. I think that.

Tiffany Sauder [00:21:38]:Oh, totally. Yeah.

Wendy Schwab [00:21:40]:No, I'm not saying that you thought I imposed that on you, because I think that there's a lot of women that are having children older than we used to because we grew up on the farm. And I think it was just. Not that there's anything with farming, but I just think the culture was that you went to college and got married in college or sometimes before college or out of college. It was like so normal. And now we lead a group of young professionals in their thirties and bumping up to forties, sometimes forties, and they're excited about what they're doing. They're like, growing in their careers, having a lot of questions answered that maybe I didn't get answered until like five years ago or four years ago. So I think there's never a wrong time to have a baby and that God brings that gift into your life and it's, you're the perfect mom for that child, and that's such a beautiful thing. So I don't know if that answers that, but I just feel.

Wendy Schwab [00:22:33]:One other thing I wanna say is, I feel like people take better care of themselves health wise now than they used to. I think that can set you ahead 20 years. It's amazing the fitness levels you do is great job. I feel like all you kids do such a nice job of just, like, being intentional about your health.

Tiffany Sauder [00:22:52]:Okay, so, yeah. What advice would you give your younger self?

Wendy Schwab [00:22:55]:Yeah. So I actually wrote three pieces to tell, like, your generation. And then I was like, had fourth. Cause I was like, what I would tell myself. Yeah, back then, the first ones, it's not the things you get your kids at Christmas, but the time you spend together that they will remember. Take time to go on vacation and spend that time together. Save the money you had spent on gifts and put it in a time together account. And that's something that we did when you were young and we learned it from somebody.

Wendy Schwab [00:23:21]:That was a kind of a funny story, but that was a very key thing that we remembered and did. Your value is not tied to your accomplishments. A day's work at your stage can feel like groundhog day. Develop an attitude of gratitude for the blessings that keep you busy. When I think back on that, I remember thinking it's pretty much the same. I mean, even. And, you know, my personality is creative, so it felt like. And then just being grateful for those loads of laundry.

Wendy Schwab [00:23:52]:Keep your life goals front and center. Anything that you do should be adding to your goals. Be intentional about setting them. Goals are not something you get to order from Amazon prime and send back if they don't work out. You get to pick your goals, but you don't get to pick the consequences. So be thoughtful and intentional. What you tend to grows. And I think that is something goals sometimes are easy to, like, let slide because we give ourselves excuses, and excuses don't work with if you're not on your goal, the excuse doesn't change a consequence.

Wendy Schwab [00:24:25]:It just is an excuse. So I think for me, that played out with I just needed to say no sometimes. And sometimes I needed to say yes. Cause I could do it. So I think you just have to know, like, where it lies.

Tiffany Sauder [00:24:38]:Do you feel like having goals has always been a natural muscle for you, or is that something you've learned to do?

Wendy Schwab [00:24:46]:I think I've always had a natural muscle for goals. I think that I have gotten broader with, like, specific goals. So I think I've always wanted to be intentional. Like, when I went to nurses training, I was, like, bent on, like, being a charge nurse at a pediatric unit. Well, those changed a little bit when I got married. But I think that because your stages of life changes, sometimes your goals will change because you've had more things that you're in charge of. Because I didn't have a family, so then my goals changed a little bit with regarding my family. My goals.

Wendy Schwab [00:25:20]:For me, when I was your age, if I was talking to myself looking into the window back at Wendy, I said, watch your budget. Don't drive so fast. Take care of the things that can't be fixed in an hour or two. Your health, your marriage, your spiritual walk, your friendships. You can't reverse health issues of years of neglect or a marriage that was put on the back burner or your walk with the Lord. While he is always merciful, you miss out on walking with his wisdom. And you can't make old friends. It came out really fast in my mind because I was like, I think those were things that I did.

Wendy Schwab [00:25:54]:I did drive too fast. And so fast. Sometimes not so fast, but more tickets. At that age.

Tiffany Sauder [00:26:03]:You got a lot of tickets. That's what. Yes.

Wendy Schwab [00:26:05]:Not to get a driving school time.

Tiffany Sauder [00:26:08]:Mom's like, yeah, not fast. Just lots of tickets.

Wendy Schwab [00:26:12]:Yeah, just lots of tickets. And watch your budget, too. I feel like it's an easy time to not watch your budget because there's so many things that are so cute. And honestly, it's, like, so freeing. That's when I really started to pay attention to budget, and we did a cash budget, and it was powerful for us. Very freeing. And sometimes I just felt behind and, like, needed a pedicure. It's like, I need a haircut.

Wendy Schwab [00:26:37]:It's like all those things. If it can be fixed in an hour or two, don't worry about it. But just the things that can't be, like, fixed. I think I always tell you that, that you can't just change it a.

Tiffany Sauder [00:26:47]:Little bit, because I can turn into a task oriented psychopath when I'm like, this house is a mess. Your nose needs to be blown. I do not want to see those shoes one more time in my life. And those are all very temporary things that they make a lot of clutter for my head. And I sometimes need to shift my focus to, like, let em play. Let it be. Yeah. Have a friend over.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:10]:Whatever.

Wendy Schwab [00:27:11]:Yeah. I don't know if you remember this, but Saturday was always our day to get back to ground zero.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:16]:Yeah, I remember.

Wendy Schwab [00:27:17]:Yeah. So during the week, it's kind of like, otherwise you're just constantly on it and you kind of like, your relationship can just be like all that, like, just, you know.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:26]:But we didn't live in like, a cluttery.

Wendy Schwab [00:27:28]:No, we didn't.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:28]:You let our rooms be crazy.

Wendy Schwab [00:27:31]:Yeah, you're the common areas of the house.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:33]:I feel like dad. We weren't allowed to keep stuff on the stairway.

Wendy Schwab [00:27:37]:Yeah, he was more the, like, declutter. I was more the, like, underneath clean. So it didn't bother me if, like, the floor was really clean if there was ten pairs of shoes on it. But, yeah, we're a good team that way.

Tiffany Sauder [00:27:50]:Okay. What's your self care advice for sixties? What's the biggest thing that you feel like is making a difference? People tell you all the time, you look so young. You are actually young.

Wendy Schwab [00:27:58]:I think that if you're grumpy, I feel like attitude does make a lot of a difference with that because you can look somebody at somebody, and I think it's important to exercise and stay active. I used to be nervous about that, about talking about, like, exercise and diet, because I was worried that people will think that it was just all about, like, how I thought about how I looked. But the honesty of it is, if you don't take care of yourself, you can't do the things to the best that you can. Like, life happens and happens to us all. Life will hand you that. It's not your fault. But if you can, it really helps to have, like, a strong body and strong muscles when you got 16 grandkids. And I'm very intentional about having yearly checkups.

Wendy Schwab [00:28:43]:And I'm proud of this because I go to a sports nutrition doctor, and they did my grip on my hand. You know, they, like, I was like, why do you do this? And they're like, it's a mortality thing. Like, if you have bad grip, like, there's a higher chances of heart disease. And, like, mine was, like, twice normal.

Tiffany Sauder [00:28:58]:Of my age and super excited.

Wendy Schwab [00:29:00]:Yeah, but it's like, you're lifting heavy things and go play pickleball and, like, just live life in a fun way. Not. I don't make it drudgery. I just feel like there's just a lot of fun things that I do that help me stay healthy. What's your minimum?

Tiffany Sauder [00:29:14]:Mom, I was schooling you on this the other day. I was, like, yelling at you in the car. What's your minimum?

Wendy Schwab [00:29:19]:Three times.

Tiffany Sauder [00:29:20]:Three times a week. How many weeks in a row have you hit? Three times a week.

Wendy Schwab [00:29:23]:Oh, I would say I'm very consistent. Three times a week.

Tiffany Sauder [00:29:26]:Because, remember, you were like, I got this new thing, and I was like, what are your minimum? She's like, every day. I was like, no, what's your minimum? She's like, I know. Every day. I was like, so on your worst week, you're gonna do every day? Well, no. And I was like, okay, what are you gonna do in your worst week?

Wendy Schwab [00:29:40]:Three weeks. And this is a really, really busy week for me. This week. And it's three times?

Tiffany Sauder [00:29:45]:Yeah. What's your minimum? She did every day. No, what's your minimum?

Wendy Schwab [00:29:52]:Personality is I can always do this because I have 29 hours in a day, and I only sleep none.

Tiffany Sauder [00:29:58]:And I get that from you. A bad sense of time, too long of a list.

Wendy Schwab [00:30:03]:That's the other thing. I've learned to laugh at the things that I'm really bad at and just embrace it. I try really hard to overcome some of those things, but some of them just show up.

Tiffany Sauder [00:30:12]:Yeah. It is what it is. All right, well, mom, thanks for anything else you want to say.

Wendy Schwab [00:30:17]:I love you, my child. This has been really fun.

Tiffany Sauder [00:30:19]:Thank you so much. Thanks for coming on. Appreciate it very much. Thank you for joining me on another episode of Scared, confident. Until next time, keep telling fear. You will not decide what happens in my life.

Wendy Schwab [00:30:32]:I will.

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