Teenage urban dictionary

Tiffany Sauder: I am a small town kid, born with a big city spirit. I choose to play a lot of awesome roles in life. Mom, wife, entrepreneur, CEO, board member, investor, and mentor. 17 years ago I founded a marketing consultancy, and ever since my husband JR and I have been building our careers and our family on the exact same timeline.

Yep. That means four kids, three businesses, two careers, all building towards one life. We love when I discovered I could purposefully embrace all of these, and in my life, it unlocked my world. And I want that for you too. I'm Tiffany Sauder and this is Scared Confident.

Okay. I was just exporting and I'm like, we gotta push record and jump on the microphone to record this conversation. So I was sharing. With Brianna and Sam, uh, Brianna's our intern, and Sam is like all the things to me. She helps behind the scenes and helps me do a bunch of stuff with scare confident in my life.

But I was just saying last night, uh, one of our devices, I'll try to keep the, like, which daughter out of this, but one of our devices like ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, just like ping all night long. I was like, what's happening? So I go over and um, one of my girls' friends was trying to get her to call. . And so I texted her back and said like, Hey, this daughter's getting ready for bed.

Do you need something? She's like, no, I just wanted to talk about what happened today. So then I ran upstairs and said to my daughters, Hey, uh, what happened today? And she said, well, um, uh, my friend thought that I said something bad about her, but I didn't actually say it. And I was like, oh, what did she think you said about her?

And she said, well, she heard somebody said that. I called her a try hard. I was like, try hard. What's a try? . And so then I was explaining this and Brianna was like, oh yeah, I totally know what to try hard is. And so there's all these new words that these kids are saying about each other and I thought this was so interesting.

So we're gonna record, and Brianna's gonna kind of give us like the high school urban dictionary of what is going down right now with the kids. I think it's interesting. I think it's helpful and I think that as parents, I don't know, we kind of need to know what's happening. We're gonna go through this and we'll see how it goes.

So try hard, let's talk about what that is and then we'll go to the pick me. Yes, I learned about that one

Brianna: too. So, a try hard is someone who like basically tries hard on things that don't necessarily need to be, like much effort needs to be exerted. Um, so like, what's an example? It's also kind of like a kiss up too, in a sense.

That's like if you go up to a teacher and you're like, thank you so much. Like stuff like that. People be like, oh, you're being a try hard, like you're being a sweat or something like that. Like, uh, or if you're doing a, like a homework assignment and like you're it to color a paper and you're like, doing some ombre or something like that you don't really need to be doing.

Mm-hmm. , like that's an example of like being a try hard. Okay. And

Tiffany Sauder: so then Brianna just introduces this word sweat, which is kind of like slang for the slang. Yes. Right? Yes. So if you're trying hard, clearly you're sweaty. . Yeah. . Yes. And so then that's a sweat, which is like, yeah. Shorthand for dry hair.

Brianna: Yeah.

Like you're being a sweat. Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder: Like, so would you ever say that to one of your

Brianna: friends? . Um, my brothers say it to me a lot to you.

Tiffany Sauder: Yes. Because they think you're like a goodie two shoes. Yeah,

Brianna: basically. Yeah. Like if I say, oh, like, I'll tell my parents like, oh hey, like, I just unload the dishwasher so they know like I'm actually helping out around the house.

My brother would be like, stop being a sweat. Like, okay. Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder: That's amazing. Okay. Um, so it isn't necessarily derogatory. I mean, it kind of is like, get over yourself a little bit, but yeah. So then the other thing they told me about is A, what was the other one? Pick me. A pick me. Yeah. I can't even remember.

I have to like write them down. I need to write them a pick me. Yes. So that's another category. So tell us what that is and use it like in a context.

Brianna: It's more of like, Kind of junior high girls where they're like at that awkward stage with guys where like they're guys no longer have cooties, but like it's kind of becoming socially acceptable to be friends with guys.

But then like not everyone is at that same page. You say it to your friends like, like, oh my gosh, like you're being such a pick me. Uh, or like, she's a pick me. And that basically means like it's a girl who's going out of her way. get like a guy's attention. Like a lot of the common examples or G pick me girls, they'll say like, oh, I just like being friends with guys cuz it's less drama.

Or like, I don't really wear makeup. Like I'm just not that girly, girly, like stuff like that. Like that's about pick me girl.

Tiffany Sauder: So I was As and Brianna, I was like, so is that like what we would've said slutty? And you were like, it's really not like that's different. Yeah. It's more just like they wanna be in the

Brianna: circle.

Yeah, they wanna be like cliquey, clicky with the guys, but they don't know how to do. . It's like they change their personality around the guys and it's like that, it's just, it really describes like junior high cuz it's like they don't really know how to interact like with guys. Yeah. It's kinda the awkward stage.

Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder: We're we, I'd say we got a

Brianna: full top of that right now. Yeah. .

Tiffany Sauder: The girls are great, but it's just funny. They definitely are, and you're right, it happens at different stages. Mm-hmm. , like I can see my eighth grader, some of her friends can be friends with boys. Yes. Don't know how to do that. Uhhuh. . But they like them.

Yes. And so they like just wanna be boyfriend. And some are still not quite sure like where to place it. Yes. Like it's really very different zones. It's true. Um, okay, so what are some other ones that we need to know about? Um,

Brianna: we old parents here, so there's, my favorite is, um, a bot and there's also one in an npc.

And an NPC is a non-person character in, uh, video games. , and it's basically like, it's like that kid in your class who just like says things and you're like, like, where are you from? Like, are you real? Like it's, I mean, not to like stereotype, but it's usually like a band kid or something. Uhhuh, , like a kid who's not in with all those social trends kind of, and they always just say the, the weirdest things and you're like, you're such a bot.

Or like a kid's, an npc.

Tiffany Sauder: So do they know that you're saying that about them and they're like, yeah, I wear that with pride, or it's like, no, they wouldn't know that you're saying that

Brianna: about them. I mean, yeah, they'll probably know. Like, you'll probably be like, Hey, like you're such an npc, or something like that.

Or like, I call my friends a bot a lot. Like when they, like if you ask like a stupid question and it's like you're a bot, like say like we're at like an Italian restaurant or something and my friend's like, oh, are you gonna get like pasta it. , that was a bot question. Like, yes, I'm gonna get pasta. It's Italian restaurant.

Like, stuff like that. That's so funny.

Tiffany Sauder: That's so funny. And is that a high school word or you think middle schoolers use that too? The bot and pc? Cause

Brianna: I haven't heard those. Um, I think a lot of the, uh, junior high kids say like, JIT instead of bot or jet, but I think JIT is more like, like Jit, my homeboy almost something like that.

I think it's npc. I'd say it's more like universal, like between ages.

Tiffany Sauder: That's so funny. I'll have to ask the girls if they know what that is. Um, okay, so any other urban dictionary things that we need to know? You say rad. Did you say rad? No. ? No.

Brianna: Never. Rad. No, not rad. No. You about died on the rat. That's sick.

Sick. Yeah. That's sick. Like if something is cool, it's.

Tiffany Sauder: Would you type that? Yes. Okay. And how would you spell it if you said that?

Brianna: S i c k. You spell it? S s c K. Okay. ? Yes. So like if a

Tiffany Sauder: friend texts you something, you're like, that's sick. Yeah. S a c

Brianna: k. Never. Rad. No, rad is not. Um,

Tiffany Sauder: what about if you're looking in the mirror and you love the outfit that you're wearing, what would you say?

That's hot.

Brianna: That's hot? Yes. Okay. That's, I mean, I feel like that might just be more of like, . It's very girls, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's also kind of a way, like if you get an A plus on a test, you're like, that's hot.

Tiffany Sauder: Okay. So another thing that I, I think is very unique to what I see playing out on social media with girls right now is these like posting pictures of yourself where you're like, I really love how this represents who I am.

Like this feels really good. I feel like I look hot. And then whatever. Yeah. And then friends being. You're such a babe, like you're amazing, like sexy o I don't know. What would people say, like to go to your Instagram and actually read something? Cuz I feel

Brianna: like it happens to you sometimes. It's like a social norm that if you're friends with someone, you comment on their Instagram post.

Like it's just something you dont, it's not even a norm.

Tiffany Sauder: I feel like it's kind of

Brianna: an expectation. Yeah, it's a, yeah, a hundred percent an expectation. because would

Tiffany Sauder: you notice if one of your best friends didn't post on one of your things where you're like, look at me being hot as like, oh, she's actually

Brianna: jealous.

Jelly. Would you say jealous or jelly? Jealous. Okay. Yes. ? I don't know. Yeah, like this one girl, we used to be friends and she doesn't, she'll like my post, but she won't comment on it and it's like, yeah, she's jealous. See,

Tiffany Sauder: it's like an unwritten thing. Yes. That is not a thing in the forties. Sam's in her thirties, not a thing.

It's not a thing for us, is it? Okay, let's see what people say. I'm Brianna's that color. Disco. Mommy. So red. So here

Brianna: for the red lip. Mommy, that's a, that's a new thing. What's mommy? It's like an endearing word. It's like, yeah. Are they lactating? ? No. ? No. It's nothing like it's something like that. Like I know that can kind of have like a weird connotation, but it's.

I don't know, like the good way to describe it. It's like, it's like affect affectionate maybe? Yeah. Have you heard the, like, wifey like that? Um, no. Like she's my wifey, like, she's beautiful, she's everything. It's kind of like dress like, yeah. Like, like, oh, she can do everything. Like she's mommy. So you would

Tiffany Sauder: say about one of your friends, you're wi you're like my wifey?

Yeah.

Brianna: I would say, well, wifeys kind of faded. It's now, um, mommy, it's mommy. It's.

Tiffany Sauder: Okay, so, uh, disco Mommy. Here we go. . Um,

Brianna: bay Bay. Yeah. That's just like bay. It's a common one. Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder: Um, model icon legend. She is the moment. Stunning. Gorgeous. Another mommy with an E at the end. Love, love, love. He looks so good. So pretty.

I, I just noticed this is my queen is beautiful. I don't think that's your boyfriend who wrote that. S Jones.

Brianna: Oh no, that's one of my friends. Yeah. And your boyfriend like, okay, so what can

Tiffany Sauder: he do or not do? Oh,

Brianna: no, he has to comment on your Instagram post. Okay. Otherwise it's like, ooh. They're either not on good terms or they're like done, or like, He clearly doesn't really care about her

So what is the acceptable

Tiffany Sauder: period of time that this poor guy has to find out that you have posted a new Instagram thing?

Brianna: Uh, he just, I mean, I guess there's not like a certain time he just like has to comment, but

Tiffany Sauder: there's a certain time because if it's a week that's too late.

Brianna: Oh, no. Yeah, definitely. I mean like within the first two hours.

Yeah. Like then before we'd go unnoticed, I'd. . And then if he really, this is a gentleman, he has 120 minutes , and if he wants to go above and beyond, he would repost it. Okay. On his Instagram story.

Tiffany Sauder: And then it's like, ah. Yeah, and, and would you like him to add a comment on it?

Brianna: Maybe like a hard eye, like, okay.

I mean, my boyfriend will repost like Joe Burrow, but not me. Joe

Tiffany Sauder: Burrow, but not you. , he's got PRI hashtag priorities. That's

Brianna: priority hashtag.

Tiffany Sauder: We need to bring him on the pod and give him a little

Brianna: lesson. Yeah. I give him crap for that.

Tiffany Sauder: So senior Sunday also, tell me about this.

Brianna: So, I mean, you pay a pretty dime to get some senior pictures.

So, and obviously like you really only post them like during your senior year. So people have just made Sunday the day that you typically post like your senior pictures. And so they'll, people usually hashtag like senior Sunday and that's just like a given day that you can compose your senior pictures.

But

Tiffany Sauder: kind of, but like for lots of like you might. 15 weeks in a row. Yeah. Or like the whole senior year.

Brianna: Uh, if you too much, you post. Yeah. You have to kinda like strategically space it out. Okay. Yeah. And you kinda, I mean, you can't always say Senior Sunday, like, you gotta get creative with it. Okay.

Tiffany Sauder: So, We used to print them out and give them to each other.

I'm suddenly having this realization of like, yeah, if you got your pictures taken, the little wallet size and I had this little cardboard box that I carried around. No, I'm not kidding. Here's what we would do when we got our pictures taken. We would take these leather folios, like, you know, like those trifold things?

Yeah. That like a, like a, um, poster board. Uhhuh . Except they were like ple. and you would take your pictures to school and show people and they would help you pick out which ones you were gonna get made into. Wallets, , because the ones that you got made into wallets were gonna be the ones that everybody had.

And then when like the popular boy in school would get his senior pictures, it would be like lightning like X, Y, Z person brought their senior pictures to school. and you wanted to get, because they didn't necessarily have enough for everybody. Yeah. And so then if you got one, it was like hot

Brianna: that you got one.

Oh, so it was kind of like, it's like a Valenti, it was a popular car. It was kind of like a

Tiffany Sauder: popularity thing. Yeah. Of like whose senior pictures you ended up with. Yeah. And then. , whether or not you had to give them one of yours for one of theirs, or if you just got one, like you were really popular, if you could get somebody's senior picture without having to give them one of yours.

Oh, . Yeah, because it was like social, you know? It's like, yeah, and I guess it's like akin to Instagram following cuz I've also learned like if you follow me and I don't follow you back, that's like a social sign today. because I had some people like e three years who followed me and I didn't follow them back.

Cause I don't want them to think I like am trying to crawl into their personal lives. I don't know. And like 18 months later, we were like some social thing bowling and they were like, Four people like, yeah, you don't follow me back. And I was like, oh my word. Like I

Brianna: didn't know. Yeah. Well Instagram has this thing where it says like, follow back.

Yes. And so it gets kind of awkward in the, in those settings. Like people will, like if it's someone who like posts you and then you're like, oh shoot. Like I don't follow them. And it's kind of like, it's gets awkward cuz it's like you're friends with them, but then it's like, oh, you've waited this long to follow them.

Oh. And so it's kind of like,

Tiffany Sauder: and now they're gonna notice that I just followed them. And maybe they don't notice that I don't follow them. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, and so now if I push follow back, they're gonna be like, we went all those months Yes. When I thought we were on the same

Brianna: level. Yes. And that's awkward, and I know we're not.

Yeah. You can see if, um, someone, like when someone follows you, and so it's like, can't go unnoticed, unfortunately.

Tiffany Sauder: Do you ever, you can block people without unfollowing them. Did you do that?

Brianna: No, I think it just like automatically unfollows them but they don't get notified. Notified. Yeah, I

Tiffany Sauder: think that's true.

It doesn't show. So you don't ever post a view dancing, but you dance a lot. Why

Brianna: is that? Well, I mean a lot of my friends do, like, some of them do. I might post like one of our dances at the end of the season cuz it's my last season. But for me, if it's not perfect then I can't post it. Cuz then it's like, it's kinda.

Your one chance to show everyone what you do almost and like how you dance. And so if like you mess up on something, it's like, well, that's what everyone's gonna see. I mean, especially for like the dance team, like obviously no one comes to our competitions and so it's not like they've seen you do a routine multiple times.

So when you're posting like one routine once, it's like, that's it, that's how you're known as a dancer or something like that. Like that's your

Tiffany Sauder: skillset. Interesting. So, but you don't even post like stories of you like at. Practice. Do you use stories on Instagram? Is that a thing that you use or like No, that's what old

Brianna: people use.

Um, yeah. I mean, , I have seen a lot of people older than me. They definitely use their stories almost like as a vlog. Like they use their Instagram stories mm-hmm. , whereas younger kids use like their private stories on Snapchat as a vlog. Oh. So like, I'll like repost stuff on my Instagram story, but like, that's kind of all I do.

Mm-hmm. for my Instagram story. .

Tiffany Sauder: How old were you when you got on social media? Do you remember?

Brianna: I got Instagram when I was like 11, and then I didn't get Snapchat until I was like

Tiffany Sauder: 15. And did you go through periods where you had to kind of learn like these people's posts or not their real life? Or have you always had perspective on that?

I,

Brianna: I have always had perspective on that. I think that's, , that can be a huge strain on young girls cuz it's like you on social media, you post like the best picture of yourself. Like, you know, the one where your, your skin looks the best, like, a lot of times like Instagram influence posts, like if they post like bikini pictures or something, it's like where they look the most toned and stuff.

Mm-hmm. . And that can really affect like the self-confidence of younger girls. And I do think social media, like algorithms are getting better and people are being more open about like, Hey, this isn't all body types. Like not everyone is like a twig, you know? Mm-hmm. , to me that might be one of the most important things about social media is knowing that it's okay.

like I feel like you have to be kind of confident with yourself in order to be able to like go on Instagram or TikTok or whatever and like, I guess you just have to be able to understand that what they post is what they want you to see. Mm-hmm. like it's what it's been edited, it's been like filtered and all this stuff, and they don't look like that all the time.

I don't really know where like my inner self confidence came from. I've just always known. . As long as I feel good, then like, I like the way I look. I just, I think it also kind of helped with like from dance, from like staring at yourself in a mirror like for like four hours, you know, at a time. Like you just learn to, you either learn to love yourself or you kind of always wanna change something.

And I think I've just known that, um, it is okay, like you're not gonna look like everyone else does on Instagram. Um, but I also. Kind of, when I went on Instagram, I didn't really follow any of like all these other girls, like who were prettier than me. Like I just followed my friends basically. Because I feel like when I had Instagram, it wasn't necessarily about like proving your worth.

It was just about posting what you wanted to post. But now it's kind of becoming like, oh, I have to prove to everyone like I'm prettier, like I'm toned, or like I'm, you know, I'm all this. So, um,

Tiffany Sauder: so I have been really slow, uh, on the technology train with my girls. Uh, they're, Aubrey was for sure the last to get a phone.

She's 14 and still doesn't have any social media. Um, what do you think kids miss out on if they're not on social media? Like, if you were to be Aubrey's advocate and say like, I'm not saying you think I should let her to get social media, but what, what is she missing out on? Because I don't wanna take the good part of it out of her life.

Yeah. But I do. Me and her family and my husband and I to be the strongest like signal in her life right now. And I don't wanna compete with her peers Yeah. On social media. And I don't wanna compete with these perfect strangers. Yeah. You know, that are influencers.

Brianna: I, there are definitely is a fine line. I feel like the things that.

Because all of my friends had Snapchat when they were like in fifth grade, and I didn't get it until freshman year. And like I had to beg my mom. And I think the only thing I missed out on on Snapchat was like, it'll show you memories. And like a lot of them have funny memories like, Looking at it now, like when they're 18, like looking back when they were in fifth grade, like all the funny selfies they took or something.

It's funny now. I do wish I had more of those pictures, like funny pictures of myself I can look at now and be like, oh my gosh, I thought I looked so cute or like, I thought I was funnier. Stuff like that. Um, and I'd say in like seventh and eighth grade, uh, a lot of people would talk like their crushes on Snapchat and I couldn't do that obviously cause I didn't have Snapchat.

So that was kind of a downside, but, . I wasn't on my phone a lot and a lot of people who had Snapchat were always on their phones. Totally. So I am grateful that I was never the kid who was like sucked in on their phone cuz I didn't have like Snapchat where I was like talking to people like 24 7.

Tiffany Sauder: It is crazy.

I see. Like we were in line for pizza the other day and there was three preteens in line all on their. , and I know it's Snapchat because the speed at which they're like, oh yeah, thumbing around on their screen is lightning. Yes, . It's crazy. And they were totally disengaged from the environment around them, from the smell of the pizza, from their family, from their younger sibling.

And that is my thing. I'm like, I feel like the speed of entertainment that is coming in front of you guys real life cannot compete with it. Mm-hmm. , you know what I like, just the like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. , but there's this like depth of knowledge. There's this patience, there's this relationship, there's this like sense of belonging that I think just gets sacrificed when.

it comes into their lives too early and you know, I get to experiment four times. Yeah. on four different kids. Yeah. And I'm sure it will get harder and harder with each kid to like, kind of fight gravity. Mm-hmm. . But you know, you say like, I don't have memories in my phone. But you do have memories with

Brianna: your family.

Yeah. You do. And like, I, I can take it on like brothers, that camera app, like. . Yeah. I still have that. Like I did . Yeah.

Tiffany Sauder: Taking pictures of everything. Yeah. The girls were, you were also telling me about Be real and that's like definitely making a wave into the middle school right now too. Yeah. Um, so I don't know.

It's just interesting. It's a very imperfect Totally. There's no right answer. Yeah. No, there's no right answer. I do feel like there's a few wrong ones though. There's, yeah. I wish, I wish. in places. There was just more moderation about how young some of these kids are. Uhhuh , getting exposed to this stuff and it's crazy.

Um, but anyway, now my job preparing the world, just the four people that I have. Can I ask you one more question? Yes. Okay. Um, what, at this stage in your life, because, you know, scare, confident, poor Brianna's, just like I thought I was just coming in for a random day, uh, to help with things. Uh, you're gonna be graduating in a few months.

Yes. You're going to. , what does fear say to you at this stage in your life? You're 18, right? 18. Yes.

Brianna: Um, all your clothes are from Goodwill, . Yeah. Either Goodwill or Lululemon? No. In between. That's right. Yes. I'd say fear of change and being comfortable with change. Um, I mean, I am excited about my future, but I'm also kind of scared to like leave my family, like I'm really close with my family.

and I am only like an hour and a half away from my house, but still like I'm kind of scared how that'll look. And I'm scared on how my siblings will take it because I know my sister, like, especially when she's tired, she'll start crying. Be like, I'm gonna miss you so much when you're gone and I don't want.

my family's routine and life to be like completely uprooted cuz I'm gone and I don't want, and I'm kind of scared on how my parents are gonna react like, on move-in day. Like I don't really wanna see them upset cuz they're just gonna make me sad. Mm-hmm. . Um, and I am kind of scared of growing up and like leaving my, my home.

It's now gonna be like in a concrete dorm instead of like my room that I've grown up with my whole life. . I think there is a lot of fear, but once you kind of get past that fear and just being excited for the future because there's so many new opportunities that, you know, college brings and living on your own brings that it's just kind of being excited for the unknown instead of fearing it.

It's a muscle that

Tiffany Sauder: is a constant in life, and I think the stage that you're at, the bridge that you're getting ready to. begins this like bravery of like, how do I leave comfortable? Yeah. To move into the unknown, to get to something that has promise of better, and it isn't always, but the willingness to kind of pack your bag and keep moving forward is, it's a total muscle in life.

And here you're at 18, but you know, I see people at different places decide that they're just gonna stay uhhuh because comfortable looks easier and. I'm excited for you in the next few months and thanks for doing this. Like Impro you. I was like, Hey, let's just push record and do it. So Awesome. Thanks for giving us Yes.

Thank you for joining me on another episode of Scared Confident. Until next time, keep telling fear. You will not decide what happens in my life. I will. If you wanna get the inside scoop, sign up for my newsletter. We decided to make content for you instead of social media algorithms. The link is waiting for you in show notes, or you can head over to tiffanysauder.com.

Brianna: Thanks for listening.

‍