Tips for finding and hiring a nanny

Okay. So in this episode  I brought Samantha Johnson, Sam, onto Scare Confident today because we have just hired a nanny. we're sharing a nanny. And this experience of figuring out childcare is a real Rubik's cube for every two career home. And Sam and Bryce are two career home. Um, my husband and I clearly are as well.

And so, Sam's been supporting me in all areas of my life for a couple of years now. Had a baby how many years ago? Not years, one and a half. Yeah. Like 18 months. And you've had no care since this nanny. So, anyway, we'll kind of walk through it. But this like convergence of a shared need, we said like, Hey, what would happen if we shared a nanny?

And so that's what we're doing now. But the process for me of getting a nanny for my fourth kid, you for your first. was different. And I think as we went through that, you were like, Hey, we're like learning a lot about this process. I think people would benefit from kind of seeing what you're doing here.

So that's what we're going to walk through is like steps. How did we find Lexi? what were we kind of individually going through as I was Getting my sixth nanny and you your first like and just how they like integrating them to your house and your space and all that stuff. So, um, that's what we'll talk about.

Share experiences.

Samantha: Okay. Yeah, let's do it. So I think first let's share our experiences. So what were you looking for and why were you looking for it?

Tiffany Sauder: Well, So my oldest is, is she 14? She's 14 years old. Yeah, she's 14. So we had nannies with all of our three older ones.

when we had Quincy with COVID and all the madness, but I put her in daycare for nine months and it really was a good fit for her because she's crappy on her own. She's like already. She needs people. She needs people, yeah. She's got all her big sisters around all the time when she's by herself. She's just a beast.

She's unbearable. She takes over. Yes. And she becomes an even more extreme monster of like attention. So I knew being around kids is really important, for her. worked really well. Our daycare closed in May of this year and I suddenly, very suddenly I was given like, what, three weeks maybe. Yeah,

Samantha: maybe if that, if it goes like two

Tiffany Sauder: weeks, it was very sudden.

And so my, everything kind of came crashing down. so long story short, I didn't have any help this summer. Um, cause my girls helped my older ones, but not really anything consistent. And I knew when school started, I needed to get back to a plan. For myself, I was feeling like I was probably, uh, 60 percent professional, if I'm being really honest with myself.

just like work was not getting the best of me. I was feeling pulled all the time and it wasn't just that fun actually. I didn't like it. Yeah. Oh, I didn't like it. So I knew we had to figure something out. I still have kids who get off the bus at three o'clock and so I needed somebody there.

If I can't be there every day at three to support that and then Quincy, so I felt like a nanny was going to probably be the right thing to have some flexibility, be able to drive a kid to practice, all that kind of stuff. I get kids going in different directions. So that was where we were at. Yeah.

Samantha: We were totally different space.

I'd say we had had our first kid and at the beginning we were kind of trying to figure out what were we going to do? Looking at daycares. I wasn't in a big rush. I probably should have been because looking back, it was like, they're all on a wait list, so I should have been, but everything was new and I was trying to figure it all out and figuring out daycare was just bottom of the list.

So it kept getting put off, put off. We finally realized, you know, as he got older and was on the move and doing all the things, I realized I couldn't work and take care of him at the same time. It was becoming no longer sustainable. I was I was feeling overwhelmed all the time because I couldn't take care of him and work and do all the house things.

It was just too much. So we started looking at daycares and I just didn't like the vibe of a lot of them. So I would go in, we'd look at it, I just... Um, either didn't like it or it was super overpriced or the waitlist, the one we ended up getting him into, it was like a two year waitlist. So even though he's on the waitlist, it was like, but we have to wait two years and I can't be in school.

I can't actually like make that work for two years. So it was like, what do we do in the meantime? Do we find another daycare that we don't really like? Uh, nanny seemed out of question just financially. It didn't make sense where we were at the time. So yeah, eventually we were just kind of in this hole.

We were trying to figure it out, juggling a bunch of different care options, my mother in law, a babysitter, and just the juggling was getting overwhelming to the point where it felt like I was still overwhelmed, even though I did have care sometimes, it still felt overwhelming.

Tiffany Sauder: Totally, and this, I think for clarity, this is not like a pro nanny podcast episode.

There are lots of really good ways to solve for care. Yeah. Lots of ways. That are really good. Lots of great daycares. Lots of great options. this is just what we landed on was a nanny was the right choice. And so we're going to share the process we went through, not that you have to solve with a nanny.

I mean, you should pick what's right for your family and your situation. Yeah. And

Samantha: sometimes it doesn't make sense for you to hire a nanny. And there are, there are great daycares. We were just struggling to find one that he could get into in time for it to actually

Tiffany Sauder: work for us. Totally. So, um, where I was at was, I was like, Hey, Quincy home alone.

For five days a week for like 35 hours is going to be a train wreck. I know this for certain. And you were looking at it and saying, getting a nanny for one kid is like financially a really heavy load. When we had one only, we shared a nanny too. This little girl, her name was Rachel, I'm blanking on her parents names.

We like knew them. A 0. 4 percent out of a hundred. Like they were complete strangers pretty much. we were not a place where we could afford a nanny full time. I decided to send Quincy to preschool twice a week. She goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the nanny goes to your house those days.

And then Monday, Wednesday, Friday and nannies at my house. And Finn, your little guy, comes to our house and Quincy and Finn are like, they're a trip. They're a trip.

Samantha: They're going to be like brother and sister by the end, just, yeah.

Tiffany Sauder: They're not BFFs. No, not yet, but they do like each other. They like each other.

Uh huh, but it's funny. But it's a very funny relationship. Yeah. So that's kind of how it's played out. So. We had to find a nanny. So we've, once we kind of got through this awareness of this is what we want, it was going to give me a lot of flexibility. It was going to allow, a price point that was accessible for you and it was available right away, which was what you needed.

Availability and accessibility, and I needed flexibility and another kid. So here we are.

so then we knew what we wanted, which is kind of the first step. If you're going to get a nanny, you got to figure out what's the schedule and what do you want them to do? So that was kind of the first step.

Samantha: So now the question is, where do we find the nanny?

Tiffany Sauder: I would say I literally think about this, like if I was in my work and you go through like a sourcing phase, like if I was trying to find a digital marketer, you go source, you go on job boards, you talk to friends, you look for referrals, you're asking your employees, like you just like go on a hunt.

I think about this in the exact same way. and so I did just that. Like I, reached out to colleagues that we work with. I told my hairdresser that we were looking for a nanny. I talked to people at church. I talked to people who had kids that were like in college and coming out. we went on Facebook.

our town in Indy has these amazing like nanny searching. Like. community pages that are really, really well moderated and have some like really important directives about how to make sure that you're putting the right information.

It says like family seeking versus nanny seeking. Um, so Facebook groups and then Nextdoor. is another like, you know, neighborhood app. That was another place. So it was like literally put every line in the water. That is my recommendation. Like every line in the water, you could tell a waitress that is like really giving you awesome service at a restaurant.

And I'd be like, Hey, you're like so attentive to the kids. Thanks for your help. Like we're looking for an Annie, like literally anybody. That's how I start the process is like telling everybody that I know, I think I put it on Instagram stories. Yeah. Everywhere.

Everywhere. I went everywhere. and did you tell people? Yeah.

Samantha: I feel like my networking is definitely not as good as yours. Like you're just so good at telling everyone and everybody. but I was definitely looking on like Facebook. I did not know about the Facebook communities.

That was where we ended up having success. And I think your hairdresser told you about that. I had looked at care. com things like that. That was right. Yeah. And just wasn't having a lot of success there. I think it's harder just to like vet the

Tiffany Sauder: people. I got one of my nannies off of care.

com. It was like probably six years ago. No more than that because it was before Mrs. Garcia, but I did have success there at one point. But like my, I think my thing is like, don't be discerning at the source at the beginning. put all the lines in the water. Yeah. Cause you never know. Like my hairdresser, yeah.

Told me all this stuff. She talks to a million people and she'd be like, I've got some clients that are coming up that may have a nanny who's just getting done with their family, was just crazy pants about it. I was like, I got to solve this.

So that was the first step source.

Why didn't you use a nanny service?

I never have. I would say if you have more money than time, that a nanny service I think can be a shortcut, they usually require pretty big upfront fee and sometimes also like a placement firm would do like a percentage of their first year salary.

So it can be like 10 to 20 grand out of pocket, like from the jump before you and have somebody in your house. So that's why I didn't. I think if I had gone through the search process and it had been unsuccessful using a nanny search firm would have been for me kind of a like last resort.

I know there are families that have used them very successfully that like swear by them. So it's just a, I would say experience bias for me, not that they never work. the other thing I think that I thought about doing that we didn't do either was to go the au pair. Oh,

Samantha: yeah, we had talked about that at one point.

Yeah,

Tiffany Sauder: and what I mean by that is that somebody generally who's international comes to the States for usually a year commitment and then can be renewed for a second year. that wasn't a great fit for me, um, because I really don't want somebody living in our house. we have a guest room, but it gets used a lot and I just felt like it was going to take kind of our basement

just out of cycle for my teenagers and they use that space a lot. So logistically was not the right stage. I think if the kids were really young, it could work better, but we use like every square inch of our house right now. Really hard. The girls love the basement. Um, and they need that space to kind of be away from us.

So, um, but au pairs can also be a great, a great solution. I have friends that have used those really successfully. Okay,

Samantha: so now you have your lines in the water.

How do you begin the interview process?

Tiffany Sauder: so we knew that we both wanted to participate, but, but knew it would be tiring for the candidate if they had to do every step with both of us.

Again, I think about it just like if I was recruiting somebody at Element3. I start with doing a 15 to 20 minute phone call with them. Just to, like, get a vibe, you know, how do they present themselves? What are they looking for?

And there's like five or six questions that I really want to get covered inside of that initial phone call.

And that is like, what are you looking for in a family? And I ask that question before I tell them all about us so that I'm not leading the witness, like. What are you looking for? And nobody was looking for a nanny share. I knew I was gonna have to kind of sell them. Mm-hmm. on that setup. Mm-hmm. . Um, but what are you looking for?

what ages of kids are you looking for? What kind of, you know, just family culture. why did you leave your last family if they're nannying right now, if they're a professional nanny or it's something that they're doing, why did they leave their previous family? That's important. Um, how did you get into nannying?

Like why did you choose it? it was important to me because Sam and I are both looking for somebody that is willing to be part of kind of the equation longer term, that this not be like a six month fall back just because they're trying to pay some bills. I get it. That's certainly sometimes that happens in life, but we, wanted to see somebody was choosing this, and that they felt called to it.

And that was like part of their plan in life versus. Hey, I need to make some money because my husband lost a job or something like that Which I get I realize can happen but for this situation

Samantha: Yeah We didn't want to have to resolve and say

Tiffany Sauder: yes and we might need to but we need to at least go it into This kind of being the plan.

So why did you get into nanny? What ages have the kids been that you've watched in the past? the long term commitment Quincy's three in three years, she'll get to kindergarten she has had 1. 4 million people care for her in her three years of life. we both need some consistency for her. So I, I wanted to see somebody that would at least have the intention of being with us until she got to kindergarten.

Samantha: Yeah. And Finn is only 16 months. Yeah. So, it's like a, there's a long time there. Yeah. He's

Tiffany Sauder: got a while. Where he needs some help. Yeah. Exactly. Um, and then there, I want to know what their financial expectations are in that call. Because if we're way far apart, then let's like, let's respect both of our time and not keep going with this.

So, I've asked them what their financial expectations are, and then also is the drive to where I live going to be a problem or is the drive to where you live going to be a problem? So, I kind of cover that. Yeah.

What are you looking for? Why did you get into nannying? What are you expecting to make? And it's where I'm going to ask you to come, like, is that a dead on arrival?

Because if so, these are kind of like washout questions for me. So that original call is like 15 to 20 minutes. and I'm also asking them what questions they have of me. And you can learn a lot by how well they understand the job based on the questions they ask. Or how they've been screwed over. Yeah.

That comes up a lot in their questions, like, Do you work from home a lot? Yes. Like, you know, just that kind of thing,

so. what I would tell the phone interview people is, Hey, I'm doing... a series of phone interviews, my plan is not to tell you at the end of the call whether you're moving forward, but to get through these qualifying questions, see if there's like any, like washouts and then from them to like, Hey, is there anything you heard from me that would make you not want to move forward?

And then at the end of the week, I reached out to everybody I phone interviewed and either said, Hey, thanks so much for your time. I'd love to move you forward to the next stage or thanks for your time. But I think that there's other people that are closer to what we're looking for. So that's kind of how it ran that first step of the process.

And I think we got that all that done in a week.

Samantha: Um, pretty quickly. Yeah. And you kind of filled me in. I think you sent me their resumes, things like that so that I knew what was going on, but also trust your judgment. So I was totally fine with you taking the wheel on that part of it.

Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. Um, and so I think the question can then be like, well, when do you meet them in person? I think one thing to be aware of is these people are still strangers. Like one of them may call, you know, like care for your kids every day and be in your home and your most intimate spaces. But until then, they're still strangers.

the young lady we ended up hiring, I had just had a really good sense of her in the call. And so I, I invited her directly to come to our house, meet the kids, meet you, Sam. But sometimes what I'll do as an interim step, if you're not quite ready to like bring him to your house is just meet him in person for 30 to 60 minutes at like a coffee shop or a public place.

So that. It is a little bit more like a business meeting and you get to know them a little bit more and you ask them some more questions about what they're looking for, you know, just kind of problem solving skills. Um, and that can be kind of this. Transitionary steps sometimes from like, I just talked to him on the phone for 15 minutes to they're all the way in my house and know where

Samantha: I live.

You also have so many people in your house that I feel like for you it's kind of not as big of a thing, you know, whereas others might have a little more hesitancy in actually bringing them. Yeah. Into their space. Yes.

Tiffany Sauder: We do have very many people in our house. Um, and now I have little fin prints all over.

It's so cute. So we had Lexi come over.

Samantha: Yeah. Third step of the interview process, I guess.

Tiffany Sauder: what are your like tips for that in person interview?

Yeah. I think that people make the mistake of like creating this like fake family vibe. Like look at all of us sitting in the living room. Uh, our house is cleaner than normal, which maybe mine was a little bit more organized than normal. But, um, and it's like this fake family interaction. I think the best thing is to like bring this Canada into what you would actually be doing at that time of day on that day.

I mean, we had Lexi come in, we maybe spent like 10 minutes in the kitchen kind of getting everybody's names and

Samantha: sure snacking.

Tiffany Sauder: Getting some snacks. And then we went outside and we played. And I wanted to see, not like did she get down on her knees and like interact with the kids but I was like just looking for like normal movement from her and trying to show her normal movement from us.

Like this is kind of who we are. peed in the driveway. Yeah,

Samantha: peed on the driveway. Finn ended up having like, he had a popsicle and he had, uh, drool, snot, red all over

Tiffany Sauder: him. Yeah, it was disgusting. They were not their marketed best, you know, and I think that's kind of important. Yeah. Like I want to see that she's like laughing at the fact that Quincy just peed.

All over is now madder than a hornet, you know, at what just happened, even though she did it like, yeah,

Samantha: and see her reactions and what she does.

Tiffany Sauder: Yeah, totally. It's like, cause that's actually what it looks like to care for kids.

yeah, what do you remember from that day with her?

Samantha: Um, I remember that in all that mess, she just like laughed right along with us. She didn't seem like panicked, you know, I could imagine a lot of people would be like, what is happening?

But she was really cool about the, the share. I had talked to her that day, just about like how she feels about it. And she was. Open to it. Kind of excited about splitting up her week, which I think was a good outlook. Mm-hmm. , and made me feel more comfortable about it compared to someone who was maybe, um, nervous about it or, or thinking about other ways they could handle it.

Like she was excited about how it could split up her week. Mm-hmm. . Um, and about even the different locations, helping to, I think she just thought it would make the week go faster. Yeah, for sure. I just remember she was having fun and. She wasn't awkward. She had good questions. Yeah. We are like,

Tiffany Sauder: and I also wanted Lexi to see that you and I actually knew each other.

Yes.

Samantha: It was not like a weird situation.

Tiffany Sauder: Cause I told her, I told Lexi, I said, and then Nanny share, it can get weird. Cause you don't want it to be like a love triangle where I've got certain expectations of Lexi and you have different expectations of Lexi. And then she's trying to figure out who. And so I wanted to demonstrate to her, like, Um, you know, we're, we're like very comfortable, you know, a lot about each other's lives.

Our kids know each other. Like this is like kind of an extended situation, right? I wanted to demonstrate that to her.

Samantha: were there any specific questions or anything during that, that you were looking

Tiffany Sauder: for?

Well, I asked her, what will I discover is like weird about you? Oh yeah. Remember like, I'm like, all of us have like a thing that's like, Oh really? I was like, what's your thing? mine is that I'm very last minute.

and so if she was going to need me to give her like a two week plan or like yesterday you sent her a bunch of changes for her schedule this week because I'm going to be out of town and J. R. 's got a bunch of work commitments and I just wasn't organized going into the week.

If that was going to really frustrate somebody That was going to be a miss because I know the energy it would take for me to stay that far ahead is unsustainable. It just wouldn't happen. It just, and there's too many things, there's too many people, too many things. It's just not how we actually run our lives.

And so I needed her to come into the like, I'd just say like, what can be uncomfy parts of who we actually are. So that that wasn't a surprise to her. And I was like cracking up. She was making pancakes with the kids this week. Finn and Quincy are both on the counter with whisks, like just doing their very best, you know, to try to keep it in the bowl.

And she was just like, hilarious. And I like love that she steps into the chaos of that, that fits who we are. And so I do think it's part of finding. Like, you're a match in that sense. Other households want things very shipshape, very organized, like, you know, no fingerprints on things, which is fine. You just have to find somebody who can, yeah, kind of be at that same frequency.

And I think that's, I found like the secret of finding a nanny that works for a long time is finding somebody who kind of hits the same frequency. but you're having somebody in your house for the first time. Yeah. So I, yeah, I've had nannies forever. We have a house manager.

They're just like so many people. Yeah. Handyman, all the things, lawn people. There's so many people in my driveway. And so it's a little bit like a hostile at this point. Actually, nobody really pays rent and everybody stays. But it's very different for you. You and, it's been you and Bryce and little Finn and a very different vibe.

So what's it been like

Samantha: it was overcoming a lot of that, the classic like mom guilt. Is this really what I should be doing? am I supposed to stay home with him? But I had kind of tried that because I had been home with him for a long time.

And it wasn't going well. So I, I knew that, but it was just overcoming that sense of guilt and telling myself that I don't need to feel that. That's just like other's expectations telling me that I need to feel that way or, or just like watching other people around me do that and choosing a different path.

I had to get used to that idea and step into it. And, so that was a transition. And then having someone in our house, at first I think I just overthought, like, do I just need to have tons of food for them? do I need to, like, clean the toilets every time they come over? Like all these things that, you know, just start to overthink, and then after a few weeks it's like, eh, she'll take care of it, it'll be fine, she'll figure it out.

Tiffany Sauder: So we're like five weeks in maybe. So how has it been? Compared to how you pictured it, like leaving Finn because you, yeah, he's been around 18 months, but you haven't left him for five weeks every day

Samantha: before, right?

For, for the first 15 months of his life, it was just like me and him most of the time with a babysitter coming in, um, or mother in law coming in and those, it was always twice a week. Um, I kind of pictured the nanny like that, where it was almost just like babysitting, like, just keep this kid alive for eight hours and then I'll be here.

And instead, I just see, first of all, the benefit of him being with Quincy all the time. They just get to interact and do so much more and now I see when he's around other people it used to take him a Little while to warm up and now he just like dives right in, you know He loves to be in the middle of everything.

So that's like just amplified even more Dropping him off at like church Nursery used to be like he would cry and now it's like he's reaching for the person jumping in and Taking off so that sort of thing has been awesome to see and then she just does activities with them Which I you know, I'm just not geared that way so I don't think of it, but she does activities with them She takes him to the library They get out and go for walks and are outside a lot and just do so many things Throughout the day that when I get there, he's excited to be there and he's not sad He's not like running up to me.

I mean he runs up to me, but it's like all with joy and

Tiffany Sauder: excitement I remember when I realized like, Oh, they're not only fine, like they're not better without me, but they're in a situation where they're really thriving. Like they're learning different things. Yeah. They're learning to interact.

They're getting. The benefit of the gifts of just other people and this can be like really good. Yeah. again, not to take away if you choose to stay home, that's amazing too. Yeah. But if we're going to work outside the home, the best gift you can give yourself and your kid is peacefulness with the choice that you've made for them and peacefulness around who is impacting, you know, who they're becoming and the way that, you know, all that kind of stuff.

So. Yeah.

Samantha: And I think I had been trying to juggle both for so long that I, like, I didn't have the space to take him to the library or do something fun, but I also wasn't performing great at work because I was trying to watch him, so it was always, like, being torn in two different directions, and this allows him to have a great day and so much fun and do all these different things.

Um, and me to do what I love to do. And then we come back together and, you know, can just both be free to have fun in the evenings and hang out. And it's just happy instead of like this underlying sense of stress. Yeah,

Tiffany Sauder: totally.

Samantha: in onboarding, how long do you feel like it takes to get into like a real groove Um, I mean, she has always been great, but it's definitely like now he goes to her happily, you know, but how long does it take to feel like it's a groove and a pattern?

Tiffany Sauder: I think in one week, I think trust your gut, like it's, it's either a fit or it's not like you're going to know in a week from that perspective. And I think I had a real sense of like, Oh shoot, like we're going to be fine. so it's, if you expect it to be perfect, you're going to be.

disappointed. and I would say in a month you really should be finding a groove where whatever your expectations are of them like if you want the kitchen clean when you come home or you also want to do the kids laundry Yeah, she

Samantha: started doing Finn's laundry like a week ago.

Tiffany Sauder: Yeah, I find it takes like a couple weeks to kind of onboard them onto the things you'd like them to do like, she'll fruit for me and like just kinda get some stuff in the fridge kinda moving for me for dinner.

And so it takes about a month to kind of introduce them to like, here's what the stuff is, here's how this goes. Um, and so at a month you should kind of be in a groove and then six weeks. Everybody should be fully transitioned to like, this is how things work now. This is what time they, you know, walk in the door.

This is what the handoff looks like. and it's like a well oiled machine. It kind of happens without you realize you're participating in it. That's when I feel like I'm like, Oh, this is just what we do. And they start to learn the door is opening and Lexi's here. And like it just all of it starts to become part of the morning motion instead of this.

Thing that you have to do. It's just the morning motion.

Samantha: So what are three pieces of advice? You've had six nannies now.

Tiffany Sauder:

so three pieces of advice if you're thinking about getting a nanny.

One is see them as a partner. I kind of think about this two ways. One is like, it only works if it works for you. it needs to work for your own situation and the hours that you need them and what you can pay and all that kind of stuff, but also understanding this is their life too.

And so, you know, to the extent that we can help Lexi know, these are the weeks you're going to have off of vacation. Allows her to plan her own stuff with friends and family, like, uh, like respecting when Lexi has an event with friends and like being home a half hour early, like being partners with them.

And respecting that, like, they have a life and this is part of what's enabling their life is to have a job. It's not just that their whole existence is to serve you like forever and ever for 20 hours a day. And so I think. Remembering to see them as a partner, see them as a person, see them as somebody that also sometimes, you know, just has needs and needs to be seen and needs to be thanked and bring them a coffee if you're getting yourself one.

Like that kind of thing has made it, I think the Oneanis we've had for a long time, it just have a lot of staying power because they feel really respected and relevant. in our household too.

I think the second one is decide what you're gonna care about and decide what you're not gonna care about.

Because you can't fight every battle. things like they unload my dishwasher. I love that. Sometimes I can't find things for a while. I mean, I was pretty sure I had a whisk that had a gold handle, but maybe I didn't, you know? And then you're like, find it sometime later. And it's just like, you kind of have to like, that's just.

For me, it's just not a thing I'm going to worry about, like I'm just not going to choose

Samantha: to care about it. You'd be so grateful that they unloaded

Tiffany Sauder: the dishwasher. Yeah, they unloaded the dishwasher, that's amazing. So I think you have to decide what you're going to care about and what you're not going to care about.

Otherwise, you're going to spend a lot of energy trying to get them to do it exactly the way that you did it. And if you need that, then you should maybe just do it. Yep. Um, so that would be my second piece of advice.

about it. so My third piece of advice, this is like very tactical, but I just have them walk in, like, I don't want to open the door, I don't want to greet you, just come in. Yes. That is like silly, but I set that expectation because like if I'm still getting ready and I've got 15 more minutes, just make yourself at home find your spot for your things Whatever you need and I like told Lexa like if you want to keep some things here like a toothbrush in the basement or whatever Like go ahead like you're here a lot of time and you don't have a desk or like a place if you need a spot to place some things like Do that this needs to be a place where you like have what you need.

So that would be like a third little tip.

do you have one?

Samantha: So my advice for. If you have someone in my situation where you are just getting a nanny for the first time, the first thing would be just to communicate. I try to talk to Lexi every week about like, how can I support you? Is there anything we could do differently? are there different activities we can plan?

So just trying to keep lines of communication super open. Uh, Tiffany and I try every, to have every Friday like pulled together for the next week. That way we can tell her a week ahead of time at least, when we might need her extra or what we need to switch around. So just keeping lines of communication super open and then same on her end, just asking her to communicate what she needs from us, what we can do differently so that everyone is on the same page.

And so that things aren't getting, just like swept under the rug over and over again. So first is to have, open lines of communication.

The second thing I would say is just in how to prepare your home for a nanny. That took just some thought on my part because I wanted her to come in and it just be easy, especially Finn's room.

I still had like baby stuff in his drawers, like stuff he wasn't using anymore and clothes he had outgrown things like that. So I took a few days like before she got there just to get things super organized. I cleared out the clothes he wouldn't fit in anymore. I took and rearranged the drawer so that they made sense for how old he was now and what she would need moved like extra diapers into a spot that's like just, Easier access wipes into a spot.

That's easier access, things like that to make sure that his room was set up well. And then also just around the house, like we have kind of different spots where he plays and, I made sure that that was set up well. And then any toys that he's not really playing with anymore, things that he had kind of outgrown and kind of clean those out so that everything was ready.

And she could just kind of come in and know what to do. And then we also just prepared her to be there by inviting her over like before her first day so that she could kind of see everything and get to know the setup, get to know like where he plays and where his like shoes are and the outside stuff and all that sort of thing so that she wasn't trying to like figure all that out on day one.

And I think that was super helpful. And then since I was sharing with. Tiffany, I took Finn to her house like a week before the nanny started and kind of got him used to like that area. Tiffany and I like specifically like cleaned out drawers at her house for some extra clothes for Finn and like where are Finn's diapers going to stay And then I took Finn for like a week before and got him used to like sleeping in the bed there and just being used to being in a different house because that was like something he was going to have to figure out.

So those things I think really helped him transition and it also helped to ensure that her first week wasn't hell, you know, because she wasn't having to try to figure out, like, figure all that out with him there. It was like it had already been figured out and he had already gotten used to it so that, her week could go a little bit smoother.

And that transition could go smoother. So that's more specific to like this nanny sharing idea, but it was super helpful, for both parties to do that ahead of time.

And then the last piece of advice I would give is, and I'm still trying to figure this one out, but Tiffany has kind of been helping me with it.

when Lexi comes to our house on Tuesday and Thursday, it is just Finn and Finn is like such a great sleeper and he will sleep for like two, two and a half hours. And. Lexi has started helping a little bit with his laundry, but, there's just so much time there where I could kind of capitalize on having someone else in my house and using them to like food prep and, maybe like wash some towels, things like that.

So just getting organized and coming up with a way to be ready for that is something that I am working on, even just creating a list of like, okay, these are things she could do. And then, you know, on Monday. just having things organized so that it's easy for her to pick some of those things up and do them.

Because it tends to be like Tuesday, she shows up and I'm like, Oh crap, you're going to have two and a half hours today. Not that I want to take up all her time. Like I want her to have some downtime, but at the same time, you know, that's a long time and she probably gets bored hanging out at my house for two and a half hours.

So trying to come up with some, some ways that I could utilize that time as well. Um, and Tiffany has been really great about helping me. Come up with some of those ideas. I just need to get organized now in order to get them implemented. So

Tiffany Sauder: if you're on a journey to find a nanny I hope that this This just overview and like real life dump of what we've learned has been helpful. And um, we'll continue to keep you updated on how we're keeping all the things going in two career homes and uh, figuring out where the kids go and feeling good about where they are is a really big part of the journey.

‍